If you and your boyfriend are in a serious relationship, there may come a time when you are ready to take things to the next level. Unless your boyfriend is a gifted mind reader, he will be unaware that you want to have sex. It may appear awkward to tell him, but it does not have to be. This eHow To will give you plenty of advice and tips on how to tell your boyfriend you want to have sex.
Telling Your Boyfriend in Person
1. Create an ideal environment. Prepare your surroundings if you believe he will say yes and want to have sex right away. Light a few candles and invite him to watch a movie, listen to music, or play a game with you. Make sure you have enough time and privacy to enjoy some sex.
2.Wait until you’re alone with each other. Some relationship discussions are appropriate to have in public, but a discussion about something as personal as your first time together should be held privately and only between the two of you.
3. Inform him that you are ready to begin having sex with him. You may be sending signals that appear obvious to you, but he may not pick them up. In that case, you may have to muster up the courage to tell him how you feel.
“I am ready to start having sex with you; would you be interested?” or “How do you feel about getting closer to me?”
If you don’t want to ask him to have sex, you could simply say, “I’m ready for us to start having sex, but it’s completely fine if you need more time.” Saying something like this gives him the option of taking the next step or declining without feeling awkward.
4. If he says no, respect his decision. Be understanding if your boyfriend says he isn’t ready and don’t push him. He might just require a little more time. Before you start having sex, you should make sure that both of you are ready.
Taking an Alternative Approach
1. Tell him you want to start having sex via text or phone call. If you are too shy to tell your boyfriend in person, or if you simply want to plan ahead for your first date, texting or calling him is a good option.
If you text him, you can be direct by asking him, “Wanna have sex later?” This text will undoubtedly catch his attention, but it is light enough that you can play it off as if you were joking, just in case he says no.
You could also try something more suggestive, such as telling him what you’re wearing or the classic “What are you wearing?” This could result in a steamy sexting session or a phone call. When it feels right, invite him over to see what happens next.
2. Instead of telling him, show him. The next time you’re alone together, take advantage of the opportunity to show him that you’re ready for sex. Before you try to seduce him, make sure you know he is ready for sex. Don’t take it personally if he says he isn’t ready yet. Just give him a little more time and try again when he says he’s ready.
3. Send him a note. If you are unable to express yourself verbally, an email or handwritten note may be the ideal solution. Write honestly about how you’re feeling while remaining lighthearted. Also, make certain that he reads the note in private or in your presence, and that he either destroys/deletes it or keeps it in a secure location after he has read it.
4. Put it off until a special occasion. A special occasion, such as a birthday or holiday, could be a good time to tell him you want to start having sex. Waiting until a specific date gives you time to prepare and also makes the occasion more memorable.
Preparing to Talk to Your Boyfriend
1. Check to see if you’re ready for sex. Before you even consider what to say to your boyfriend, make sure you’re in the mood for sex in general. If you have never had sex before and are thinking about becoming sexually active, consider why you want to. Take into account your emotional readiness, knowledge of birth control and safe sex, relationship with your boyfriend, and personal beliefs and values.
2. Consider what you want. Whether you’ve been with other guys or not, your first date should be memorable. Consider how you want the first time to go and whether you truly want to take this step with him.
3. Take precautions. Purchase condoms and keep them on hand at all times in case you have your first sexual encounter with your boyfriend. Keep a few in your purse and on your nightstand. You should also discuss contraceptive options with your boyfriend so that you are both taking responsibility for your sexual health. Keep in mind that birth control only prevents pregnancy, whereas condoms can protect you from both STIs and pregnancy. Also, keep in mind that neither method is completely effective.
4. Try not to become obsessed with telling your boyfriend you want to have sex. Even if it turns out that he isn’t ready for sex just yet, he will most likely appreciate your candour. Simply relax and make a plan to talk about your feelings with him.
5. Discuss your hopes for the relationship. If you want to make sure he’s committed to you before you have sex with him, talk to him about where you want the relationship to go. Just make sure you talk about it with your boyfriend before you start sleeping together. Before you become sexual partners, it will be much easier to discuss your hopes and expectations for your relationship than after. Make sure you listen to his hopes for the relationship and respect what he has to say during this conversation. You can start the conversation by saying: If you don’t want to appear to be trying to talk about your relationship, you can ask him, “So, what do you think you’ll be doing this time next year?” If you’re a part of his future vision, he’s probably looking for something long-term.
If you want to be more direct with him, ask him, “Where do you think we’re going?”
Or, if you simply want to know if he considers you his partner, you can ask him, “So, what should I call you if any of my friends inquire about us?”
6. Don’t set unrealistic goals for yourself. You should only have sex with someone if you want to and are prepared to. Don’t have sex with your boyfriend if you’re hoping that by becoming sexual partners, he’ll want to propose, ask you to move in with him, or treat you differently. Sex will not fix a relationship, but it may have a negative impact if one or both partners are not ready to engage in sexual activity.
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