Being separated from the girl you like can be one of the most difficult things you will ever have to do. So, how do you ensure that the girl misses you while you’re away? All you have to do is leave her wanting more of you, make her enjoy the time you do spend together, and take steps to remind her of how much she likes you even when you’re not together. If you make a concerted effort, the adage “out of sight, out of mind” will no longer apply to you.
Leaving Her Wanting More
1. Spend as little time as possible together. You can’t spend too much of your free time with her if you want her to miss you when you’re not together. You should spend enough time with her to show her how awesome, fun, and interesting you are, but not so much that she begins to take you for granted or feels like you’ve run out of things to say to each other. Make an effort to see her once or twice a week, but don’t make her the only thing on your social calendar, or she’ll start to believe she can have you whenever she wants.
If she wants to hang out with you, she should make plans at least a few days ahead of time. You don’t want to appear to be at her beck and call.
When you do hang out with her, don’t spend the entire day with her; instead, leave after a few hours to do something else so she really appreciates the time you do spend together instead of becoming too comfortable with you.
This may seem strange at first, but it’s all part of the game of playing hard to get.
2. Keep your phone time to a minimum. If you and the girl you’re interested in talk on the phone, keep your conversations brief so she doesn’t think you have nothing better to do but talk to her all the time. You can talk to her for a few minutes to make plans or to see how she’s doing, but don’t let the conversation go on so long that you run out of things to say. To keep her interested, give her the impression that she will never run out of things to say to you.
Over the phone, don’t tell her everything you’re thinking or everything that’s going on in your life. Save some of it for when you get together in person.
Make the most of your time. If you only have a few minutes with her on the phone, make the most of it by charming her, making her laugh, and making her feel special. Don’t talk to her while watching the Jets game; instead, make her feel as if you value your conversations.
3. Don’t put everything on hold to talk to her. You can’t make a girl miss you by making her feel like you’re at her beck and call. If she texts you and you’re busy, don’t rush to respond with a lengthy response unless she really needs one. Instead, wait a few hours before responding to her. The same is true for talking on the phone; if she calls, don’t feel obligated to pick up every time or on the first ring.
If the girl believes she can contact you at any time, she will be less likely to miss you. If she has to work a little harder to get a few minutes of your time, she will value it more.
Of course, if she appears upset and wants to talk as soon as possible, you should be there for her rather than acting aloof. But if she’s just calling or texting to check in, you shouldn’t feel obligated to respond right away.
4. Continue to follow your own interests. Don’t give up everything you enjoy just to be with the girl. If you want her to miss you when you’re not around, you should continue to do the things you enjoy. Continue to attend soccer practise, write your novel, or learn Japanese. Let her know what you’re up to so she can see you’re an interesting, dynamic person who is enthusiastic about life and has more going on than just his romantic interests.
If you have things you care about and want to improve at, the girl will respect you and think you’re even more interesting. Furthermore, continuing to pursue your hobbies will provide you with more topics to discuss with her.
If the girl knows you have a lot on your plate, she’ll recognise the value of your time and be more likely to appreciate the moments you spend together.
5. Continue to make time for your friends. Spending time with your friends is important, and no girl you like or date will ever be able to replace your friends, even if your relationship becomes fulfilling in its own right. This means you should never stop hanging out with your friends to make time for your girl; while you can reduce your friend time to see your girl, you shouldn’t completely abandon your friends, or the girl will think she has you wrapped around her little finger.
If she knows you have a lot of friends you care about, she’ll realise you’re a fascinating person who a lot of people want to spend time with. If she gets the impression that you’re just sitting around waiting for her to call because you don’t have anyone else to hang out with, she’ll be far less likely to miss you.
Find a happy medium between seeing your girlfriend and seeing your friends. You don’t want to see them so frequently that you never have time for your girl and she loses interest, but you also don’t want to see them so infrequently that she thinks she’s the only thing you care about.
6. Continue to keep her guessing. If you want the girl you like to miss you, you can’t always tell her exactly what’s on your mind and what you’re doing. Though she should know you’re interested, you can’t tell her that you think she’s the best girl in the world and that you’d do anything for her; while you can tell her your true feelings once she opens up to you more and spends more time with you, you should leave her wondering where she stands just a little bit.
You can compliment her and tell her what you like about her, but you shouldn’t tell her everything you think about her because you’ll put yourself in danger.
You should also keep her guessing about your intentions. You don’t always have to tell her where you’re going if you have to leave early to catch your brother’s basketball game.
Staying on Her Mind
1. When you’re apart, keep in touch with her. If you want the girl to miss you when you’re not together, you must remind her of your presence on a regular basis. Send her a text to say hello or check in on how her day is going, or call her to tell her what you’ve been up to. When you’re away with your friend for the weekend, you can also send her an email from work or a quick text. Make sure you talk to her just enough so she doesn’t forget about you, but not so much that she feels suffocated by you.
If you’re apart, make sure you’re not always the one who initiates contact. You can call or text her from time to time, but don’t make her feel obligated to call or text her even if she doesn’t.
If you know she has an important event coming up, such as a job interview or a volleyball game, call her to wish her luck. Check in to see how it went if it just happened. This will demonstrate to her that you care and are paying attention, even if you are not always present.
2. Be the last thing on her mind at night. Making sure you’re on the girl’s mind as she’s getting ready for bed is one way to make her miss you. You can send her a sweet text message or schedule your phone calls so that you talk to her later in the evening, so she thinks of you as she goes to bed and possibly dreams about you. She may also wake up remembering your wonderful conversation and miss you even more as a result.
You’ll have a better chance of capturing her attention if you talk to her before she gets ready for bed. She’ll be winding down and will be able to focus on you more easily rather than talking to you while doing a million other things.
Of course, make sure she can talk on the phone late at night—you don’t want her to get in trouble with her parents.
3. Give her something that makes her think of you. Another way to ensure that the girl misses you is to give her something that keeps you in her thoughts at all times. It could be a necklace you gave her for her birthday, a letter you wrote to her, a sweatshirt you let her borrow that smells like you, or a book or CD you thought she would enjoy. These tangible items will increase your presence in her life, and she will be more likely to miss you while you are away.
On one of your dates, you can get her a memento. Winning a stuffed animal at a carnival or getting her a small souvenir from a trip you take together will provide her with something to remember you by.
You don’t have to spend a lot of money on this item. What matters most is that it makes her think of you, not the price tag.
4. Send her a sweet note. Another thing you can do to make a girl miss you is to write her a sweet and genuine note about how much you adore her. It doesn’t have to be long or detailed, but it should show her that you genuinely care about her. You can give it to her on one of your dates or mail it to her if you’re not together. She’ll keep the note and may even reread it to be reminded of you. Giving her physical evidence of how much you love her can make her miss you even more.
You shouldn’t write the note just to make her miss you; instead, make sure everything you write is genuine and from the heart. She’ll be able to tell if you’re too calculating.
5. In order to demonstrate your interest in her life, ask her questions. If you want the girl to miss you and care for you more, you should ask her personal questions, whether in person, over the phone, or in a letter. You don’t have to interrogate her or ask her too many questions to show her that you care. If you meet her in person, you can inquire about her family, pets, weekend plans, friends, and hobbies. If you text her, you can either follow up on an important event in her life or simply ask how her day is going.
The truth is that if you truly want a girl to like you, you must demonstrate your interest in her. This is far more important than being the coolest or most interesting guy in the room; at the end of the day, girls want guys who genuinely care about them. If the girl truly believes you care about her, she will miss you even more when you leave.
Make certain that you remember the answers to your questions. If the girl feels she has to keep repeating herself around you, she’ll get the impression that you don’t care.
6. When you’re together, treat her well. When you’re with the girl you like, you don’t have to be Mr. Too Cool. If you want her to miss you when you’re gone, you should make a good impression on her while you’re together. Make an effort to charm her, make her laugh, make her feel special, and generally show her that you care about her without being overbearing. You want her to remember you as the caring, smart, and interesting person that you are, so make the most of your time together, especially if it is limited.
Pay close attention. Pay close attention to her to ensure she is having a good time and does not require anything, such as a glass of water or a change of scenery.
Make her chuckle. Don’t worry about being romantic all of the time; relax and be a jerk around her, and she’ll like you even more for it.
Allow her to speak. Make sure you’re not doing more than half of the talking. You don’t want her to think you’re lecturing her or strutting your stuff by talking too much.
7. Finish your conversations on a positive note. When you do spend time with the girl you’re interested in, make sure you don’t overstay your welcome. Instead, wait until you’re having a good time talking before telling her you need to get going; as long as you weren’t supposed to spend more time with her, this won’t hurt her feelings. She’ll be thinking highly of you at the peak of the conversation, so you want to leave her with a positive impression of you when you’re gone.
If you stay too long until you and the girl are at a loss for topics to discuss, she will not remember you as a fun person to talk to. Instead, leave while you still have plenty to say to each other, so she is eager to continue your conversation the next time you meet.
Not Taking it Too Far
1. Don’t make an effort to make her envious. Though there are some tricks you can use to make the girl you like miss you more, you shouldn’t try to make her so jealous that she thinks she shouldn’t bother with you because you’re a jerk or because she doesn’t want to fight for your affection. While you are not required to tell her where you have been all of the time, don’t talk about other girls too much or openly flirt with every girl who comes your way unless you want the girl to become annoyed with you.
Though some light flirting with other girls can show the girl you like that you’re a catch, you don’t want to go so far as to make her feel as if you don’t care about her.
If she thinks you’re going to hang out with other girls while you’re gone, she won’t miss you much.
If you see her out, gather your courage and wait a minute or two before approaching her. If you pretend you don’t see her or that she’s not cool enough for you, she won’t be jealous of the people you’re talking to; she’ll think you’re a jerk.
2. Don’t pretend to be someone else in order to win her over. As corny as it may sound, at the end of the day, if you truly want to win the girl’s heart, you must be yourself. You shouldn’t put on an act or pretend to be the guy she thinks she’d prefer; instead, work on letting her see your best qualities and take some time to open up about your more eccentric interests. Though you don’t have to act the same way around her as you would around your friends, you shouldn’t put on an act either, or she’ll see right through it.
If you really like the girl and want her to miss you, make sure the person she misses is you, not some polished version of yourself.
Though it may take some time for you to open up and reveal your true self to her, you should try to be as genuine as possible as you get to know each other.
3. Don’t overdo it with the video games. Limiting your phone time or the amount of time you spend together, as well as playing hard to get, can make the girl more interested in you and make her more likely to miss you. But if you go too far, you’ll just end up confusing the girl—and possibly yourself in the process. If she believes your entire relationship is based on mind games and she has no idea who you are, her patience will quickly run out.
If you’re kind and affectionate one minute and then cold and distant the next, she’ll become irritated quickly. Though you are not required to reveal everything, if she believes she has no idea what is going on in your head, she will begin to lose faith in you.
4. Don’t be afraid to express your feelings for her. While it’s important to leave her wanting more and missing you, you don’t want to play hard to get so far that she doesn’t realise you care about her. Even if you’re a little shy, you should tell her you like her and want to spend more time with her. Allowing her to do all of the work may cause her to grow tired of you, leading her to believe that you don’t really like her.
You must be willing to go at least halfway with her. If you make her chase you too hard, she may prefer a guy who is more open about his feelings.
Creative Commons License