It is possible to rekindle romantic feelings with someone who has been estranged. Even if you can’t make anyone fall in love with you, you can take steps to improve yourself and the relationship. Concentrate on being true to yourself and being your best self. Spend time together and be thoughtful and kind to one another. Be truthful and ready to listen. Be patient throughout this process. Don’t expect everything to fall into place just because you want it to, because the other person may want or require time.
1. Consider why you want their love. Going into this, it’s critical that you’re self-aware. Do you want them to love you because you’re lonely, because you miss them, because you want to reconnect, or because you need someone in your life? Do you want to deal with your guilt as a result of your actions? Do you feel disconnected and yearn for more closeness?
Consider your ideal situation. You might have a good reason to seek their love if you know what you want from them.
You might discover that you don’t have a compelling reason. Maybe you miss how it felt to be loved but don’t want to rekindle your relationship. Leave them alone in this case.
Make it clear why you want this person’s love and how that motivation will help you win their affection.
2. Speak with someone in person. You might want to reach out if you haven’t spoken in a while. While it is acceptable to establish a connection via text or message, make sure to speak in person. Nothing will be lost in translation, and you will be able to be in each other’s presence. If they are hesitant to see you, wait a few minutes and try again. This is a promising first step if they agree to meet with you.
See how it feels to be with them and what emotions it evokes in both of you. Is it possible for you to reclaim their love?
3. Check to see if they are on the same page. If you want to make someone fall in love with you again, make sure they are at least open to the possibility of resuming a loving relationship with you. Don’t get your hopes up if they are distant or angry with you. You may need to make some room. Don’t try to persuade them if they’ve already said that being loving to you won’t happen again. Respect their decision and express your willingness to be in a loving relationship with them.
If they state unequivocally that they do not want to love you, say, “I respect your decision, even if I disagree.” Please understand that this is what I desire, and I am leaving the door open if you wish to reconsider.”
Winning Their Affection
1. Be your most authentic self. Put your best foot forward and highlight your best qualities. Remind them of everything they used to adore about you. Consider your best qualities and let them shine! The person may have previously told you what they liked about you, such as your smile, wit, or compassion. Make an extra effort to highlight these characteristics. Being your best self will demonstrate to them how captivating you are.
For example, if you are a funny person and they enjoy your humour, reach out to them with a joke or a silly storey.
If you don’t know what your best qualities are, write down the ones you believe you have. You could write kind, thoughtful, sincere, forgiving, funny, caring, generous, intelligent, and open-minded, for example.
2. Make direct eye contact. Making eye contact is essential for connecting with others. Above all, you must learn how to make proper eye contact. In general, there is no “correct” way to make eye contact. Instead, focus on the person’s eye contact. Do they make frequent eye contact, look you in the eyes and then look away, or keep a steady gaze? Mimic their mannerisms so that they feel at ease with you.
For example, if the person prefers constant eye contact, they may perceive your fleeting gaze as dismissive, whereas someone who prefers less eye contact may find your steady gaze intimidating.
3. Spend time with each other. It’s difficult to win someone’s love if you only text or email them. Spend time together that is not spent discussing what went wrong or is going wrong. Engage in activities that you know you enjoy. Remember their favourite restaurants and movies, and look for activities that will allow you to spend time together doing fun things.
You don’t have to visit a tropical island to reconnect. Simply do something that allows you to spend time together and feel close, such as going for a walk or a hike.
Show your thoughtfulness by reenacting memorable and enjoyable activities you’ve done together in the past. Return to a special restaurant, for example, or rent the first movie you saw together.
4. Laugh and have fun. Make a point of having fun in each other’s company. Make a list of enjoyable activities to do together. Contact the individual and invite them to a fun activity, such as ice skating or seeing an improv show. Engage in activities that bring out the best in both of you. Discuss topics that make the other person laugh or smile.
Make an effort to be silly or playful.
Remind them of how much fun you have when you’re together.
1. Communicate openly and honestly. Honesty is the foundation of trust and, in many cases, love. Being truthful will demonstrate to the person that you are serious, which they may respect and like about you. However, being truthful is not the same as being honest. Say things in such a way that the person understands and benefits from them. When brutal honesty causes more harm than good, try tender honesty. If someone asks you an uncomfortable question, answer it honestly, even if you know the answer will irritate them. However, you might also want to discuss what has changed.
If you’ve made a mistake, own up to it. Explain how you’ve grown since making the mistake and how you plan to avoid making similar mistakes in the future.
Don’t be afraid to ask probing questions.
2. Unconditional love should be expressed. Even if the person has harmed or hurt you, show them unconditional love. Demonstrate to them that even if times are difficult and the relationship is strained, you will remain a constant source of love and support. If the person is hesitant to express their love, you should not be hesitant to express your love. Even if the person offends you or disappoints you, remain unwavering in your love for them.
Respect their request if they ask you to leave them alone or to give them more space. Do not stalk them or pay more attention to them than they would like. You don’t want to turn them off or irritate them by lavishing them with your attention and affection.
3. Take care of yourself. Above all, remember that you must learn to love yourself before you can love another. Consider what aspects of yourself you hide or are embarrassed to show the world. Allow yourself, friends, family, and the person you want to love to see your true self. Allow them to see you completely.
Work with a therapist if you are afraid of being vulnerable or if you believe you are unlovable. They can assist you in identifying your insecurities, healing your wounds, and increasing your self-esteem.
Dealing with the Past
1. Accept responsibility for any wrongdoing. The person may be impressed if you admit to doing anything that has hurt or harmed them. This can help them see a new side of you that they may not have considered, which can open the door to love, especially if they see you as stubborn. Demonstrate that you are a better person than you were before.
“I know I made some mistakes, and I regret them,” you say. I was different back then, and I’ve learned to be a better person as a result.”
2. Restore broken trust. Forgiveness is an important part of rebuilding trust. Forgive yourself as well as them. Forgive yourself for the errors you made and the difficulties you caused in your relationship. Allow forgiveness for the other person’s errors, judgments, or problems. Then start to believe in yourself. If you cheated, make it clear that you will not do so again. Also, have faith in them. If they cheated, you can trust them not to do it again.
Don’t expect to gain the other person’s trust right away if you hurt them. Being truthful demonstrates to them that you can be trusted.
3. Make the decision to make changes. It’s time to humble yourself. If your relationship is in shambles because of a mistake you made or bad habits you maintained that your partner couldn’t handle, accept responsibility and consider their point of view. Consider their complaints and work on them on your own initiative, without their prompting. Declare that you are now paying attention to their feedback and are eager to improve. Tell the person that they have inspired you to be a better person.
Make this part of your motivation to get sober if, for example, the person became distant or broke up with you as a result of your addiction.
4. Changes must be implemented. It is not enough to have good intentions; you must also carry them out. Make changes that are solution-focused by deciding to improve who you are as a person and as a partner. Make an effort to be a better partner by being more supportive, listening, and compromising. Take the initiative to develop solutions, anticipate problems, and work through existing issues.
Don’t just say you’ll seek addiction treatment. As soon as possible, find a therapist, go to a treatment centre, or enrol in rehabilitation.
Solve specific issues. For example, if you have a tendency to lose your temper, enrol in anger management classes and practise your new skills so that you can interact differently in the future.
Talk to them after you’ve taken action. “I’m making changes to make this work,” you say. I want this, so I’m willing to go to any length.”
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