Sometimes you run into people you’d rather not meet. While you can take precautions to avoid this person, it is not always possible to avoid talking to them. When it comes to avoiding people you don’t want to interact with, you have several options, ranging from surrounding yourself with people you do want to talk to to avoiding certain situations.
Feeling Comfortable in Your Surroundings
1. Maintain a positive attitude. Sometimes you don’t want to talk to certain people because you’re uncomfortable in their company. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are a pleasant person to be around. Remind yourself that you are entitled to your boundaries and that it is acceptable to express your feelings in order to feel comfortable.
Concentrate on what you desire and what will make you happy. Then, try to find people who share your viewpoint. Rather than attempting to avoid people, which is a negative, focus on surrounding yourself with people who make you feel at ease.
Your thoughts influence your mood and, in turn, your actions. Take a moment to smile and tell yourself that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Having a positive attitude will help you attract other people who are also positive.
2. Participate in activities that you enjoy. You may not always like or want to talk to everyone everywhere, but engaging in activities that you enjoy is more likely to surround you with people with whom you are comfortable conversing.
Join a group or club that interests you if you are in school. There are plenty of extracurricular activities for everyone, whether you’re introverted or extroverted. From the theatre to the track team, you can find an activity and a group of people who share your interests.
Not only will doing something you enjoy give you confidence and allow you to meet new people, but it will also provide you with a way to keep busy and avoid situations and people you would rather not be around.
3. Concentrate on having fun with your experiences. Instead of worrying about how others will react to you, concentrate on having fun. Know that if someone is being mean to you or attempting to make you feel bad, it is never your fault.
Because of personal insecurities, people frequently vent their frustrations on others.
Putting your energy into enjoying what you’re doing can make avoiding someone easier. You will not have time to deal with someone who is detracting from your experience.
4. Take advantage of your friends’ company. Surrounding yourself with people you get along with, whether in a social setting, at school, or at work, is a great way to feel more at ease.
If you are frequently in situations where you are near rude people or people you do not want to talk to, enlist the help of your friends to defend you.
Inform your friends about the person(s) who irritate you. Explain your reasoning calmly, and ask your friends to act as a barrier if this person approaches you.
Dealing With Someone You Don’t Want to Talk To
1. Everyone should be treated with respect. If you come across someone you don’t want to talk to because they are rude or you have a history, remember to be polite. Being polite and not allowing someone’s attitude toward you to provoke you into retaliation is an effective way to keep any conversation short.
You won’t always be able to completely avoid someone with whom you don’t want to speak. You can, however, keep a polite poker face and limit your interactions with this person.
Take a deep breath and pause. Concentrate on yourself. Your goal is to get this interaction over with as soon as possible.
Excuse yourself from the conversation politely. Instead of acting in the same way as this other person. Maintain your cool and explain that you need to see a friend or have an appointment. You can then leave the situation.
2. Define your own limits. You do not always have to express your boundaries to someone you want to avoid, but you should be aware of what you are willing to tolerate. Maintain your position and stick to it.
These boundaries can be both mental and physical. You have a right to your personal space, and it’s fine to be specific about what that space entails for you.
If you’re dealing with a coworker, a classmate, or an ex, be clear about how and when you’re willing to interact with them. Don’t be afraid to be direct, even if it’s difficult.
If someone has a habit of invading your personal space, simply tell them to give you more physical space the next time you meet. You can also state at the start of the conversation that you only have a limited amount of time to speak. You can also inform someone that you prefer to communicate via email or text.
3. Ignore this individual. You’re probably not the only one who wants to avoid a particular person. Take note of how others treat someone you want to avoid. If you’ve tried more direct methods that haven’t yielded results, simply ignore this person. Inquire with others about the best way to deal with ignoring this person.
Sometimes a relationship with someone just isn’t going to work out. This person could be someone you used to be in a relationship with, or it could be a coworker. If your previous attempts to create distance have failed, simply ignore this person.
Ignoring someone isn’t always easy, especially if they’re persistent, but refusing to give in can be effective over time.
Ignoring someone does not imply mocking them or making a mean face or gesture. It simply means that you act as if this person is not present. However, do not act immaturely by pretending this person is not present. When you ignore someone, you must sometimes be the bigger person and excuse yourself from the gathering or area.
Avoiding Someone Altogether
1. Avoid situations in which you might come into contact with this person. Sometimes you have to make changes in order to avoid talking to someone you don’t want to talk to. If you know this person will be at a party or gathering, do not attend.
You may have to choose not to attend a function to avoid someone unless you are in a situation where you cannot excuse yourself, such as school or work.
Inform a close friend that you will not be attending the event. Be honest with your friend about why, but don’t be rude about it.
If you’re somewhere and see someone you don’t want to talk to or interact with, see if you can move somewhere else. If you’re at a party or a bar, you might be able to avoid this person by moving to another area.
2. Solicit assistance. If you really don’t want to interact with someone but are having difficulty avoiding this person, seek assistance. You can seek assistance from friends, parents, your boss, or a counsellor.
If you can’t avoid this person because you have a class or work with them, consider talking to someone who can help, such as your boss or a counsellor.
Explain calmly why you can’t be around this person. Perhaps this person makes it difficult for you to complete your work because you are uneasy. Perhaps you are unable to concentrate in class because this person will not leave you alone. Explain to a higher-up why you need to be removed from situations where you interact with this person.
3. Break off contact with this person. If you have the ability, be honest and end the relationship. If you have an ex you no longer want to see or talk to, or someone in your larger friend group, you can simply cut ties with them.
Set your boundaries once and don’t apologise for it. The most important considerations are your health and peace of mind. Though it may be difficult, inform this person that you will no longer be in contact with them.
Maintain your convictions. Some people may find it difficult to leave you alone. However, if you’ve stated your intentions, you’re done. Don’t participate any longer.
It’s fine to state unequivocally that you don’t want to speak with or see this person again. People will eventually get the message if you are blunt and a little harsh. You might feel mean at first, but keep in mind that this is better for your personal health.
If you see them the next day, just smile. If they ask why you’re avoiding them, just lie and say, “I’m not avoiding you; if that’s how it appears, I’m sorry.” I’m not in a good mood because of a personal incident; please accept my apologies.
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