It can be difficult when your boyfriend is upset and having a bad day. Even if it is difficult, you can be there to assist and cheer him up. You can help your boyfriend see how you make him happy by letting him know you’re there and comforting him.
Being There for Him
1. Listen if he wishes to speak. If your boyfriend appears upset, one thing you can do is give him space to talk about what’s bothering him. Getting things off his chest may help him feel better or find a solution.
“You seem upset, baby,” you might say. “Would you like to talk about it?”
If he insists on speaking, practise active listening skills. Don’t interrupt or rush to solve the problem. Just listen to him out.
2. Validate his emotions. One of the most valuable things you can give your boyfriend is the impression that you understand or sympathise with what is going on in his life. Validation simply means that you acknowledge that what he is experiencing is normal and understandable.
First, let his words tell you how he’s feeling. Look for emotional statements like “I don’t know what to do” or “I’m devastated.”
Then validate his emotions by saying things like, “Aw, I’m so sorry that happened.” It’s understandable that you’re perplexed” or “I completely understand why you’re devastated.”
3. Allow for his silence. Even if your boyfriend is typically outspoken, he may not want to discuss the situation or his feelings about it right away. Encourage your boyfriend to communicate. If he isn’t ready, don’t press the issue.
For example, if you ask, “Do you want to talk?” and he says, “No,” you might respond, “Okay, that’s fine.” I’m always available if you need me.”
Don’t keep pleading with him to tell you what’s wrong if he doesn’t want to talk. Allow some time. He will almost certainly open up.
4. Allow him some breathing room. Don’t be surprised if your boyfriend requests some space to process what’s going on. When they are upset, some people prefer to be alone. Try not to take it personally, and instead give him some alone time.
Assume your boyfriend had a disagreement with his father. If he needs time to think about it, you could tell him, “I’ll give you some time alone, but I’ll drop by and check on you later, okay?”
If your boyfriend does not expressly request time alone, he is most likely content that you are present.
5. If it does not pass, encourage him to seek professional help. If your boyfriend is upset for an extended period of time, withdraws from his family and friends, or engages in risky behaviours, he may require counselling from a mental health professional. Suggest that he go to a therapy session.
As an example, you could say, “I’ve noticed you’ve been depressed lately. Have you thought about seeing a therapist about this?”
Tell your boyfriend that you will assist him in finding a therapist or that you will accompany him to the appointment if he requires assistance.
1. Give him a bear hug. Physical touch is an excellent way to demonstrate compassion for your boyfriend. If you and he usually exchange hugs, give him one when he’s upset. If hugs aren’t common between you, it’s a good idea to inquire first.
If he’s upset because he didn’t get a promotion at work, you could say something like, “Can I give you a hug?”
2. He deserves a kiss. Kisses are yet another way to show your love for your partner. To show how much you care, plant a kiss on his brow or cheek.
Only kiss your partner if this is a common form of intimacy in your relationship. If not, ask ahead of time if it is acceptable.
3. Remind him of why he’s so great. If the cause of your boyfriend’s mood has a negative impact on his self-esteem, remind him of why you think he’s great. This may help him get out of his funk and gain perspective on negative criticism.
For example, if he didn’t get a job, you could tell him, “They can’t see your best qualities, but I can.” I have faith in you.”
If he had a falling out with a friend, you could say something like, “I know it must have been difficult to confront Dan about his lying problem.” I am very proud of you.”
Tell him why you appreciate having him in your life. If he begins to cheer up, ask him to list a few things for which he is grateful.
4. Make a specific recommendation to assist. You can ask your boyfriend directly, “How can I help?” but chances are he won’t have a specific request. Instead, consider how you can actively improve things for him based on what you know about the situation.
If your boyfriend is upset about a test grade, you could offer to assist him in studying for the next test.
If he’s upset because he has too many responsibilities over the weekend, you could help him out by doing a chore or running errands.
Cheering Him Up
1. Play some of his favourite songs. Turn on some of your boyfriend’s favourite songs if you want to get him out of a funk. This may not guarantee that he will burst into song, but it may lighten his mood.
You could even tell him why you’re playing the music, such as “I know you’re upset about your parents’ divorce, so I thought I’d play your favourite song to cheer you up.”
2. Together, you should work out. Physical activity causes the release of endorphins, which are feel-good chemicals in the body. These chemicals can help lift your boyfriend’s spirits. Furthermore, exercise is a constructive way for him to distract himself from what happened.
“Work has you super stressed,” you might say. Why don’t we go swimming to unwind a little?” or “Let’s walk the dog around the block and talk about it.” “All right?”
If your boyfriend is agitated, exercise can be a healthy outlet for his rage.
3. Give him some comfort food. Food may not be the way to your guy’s heart, but it may help him feel better. There’s a reason you crave comfort food when you’re stressed, upset, or sad: certain foods activate the brain’s reward sensors.
Perhaps your boyfriend is upset because he received a low grade in school. Cooking or ordering his favourite food will give him a little pleasure. Mac and cheese or pizza will not improve his grade, but they will make him feel better for a while.
Comfort food is great once in a while, but don’t rely on it too often. If your boyfriend has a habit of overeating, prepare a healthier dish instead (or a healthier version of the comfort food).
4. Make a silly joke. Laughter can help with a variety of problems, so go all out to make him laugh. Make up your own ridiculous joke or send him funny memes or videos.
You could tell him a joke about his situation, such as “Do you believe your working conditions are deplorable? Check out this insane YouTube compilation. I’m sure you’ll have a different perspective.”
5. View his favourite TV show or film. If your boyfriend has a favourite TV show or movie, cuddle up on the couch and watch it with him—bonus points if it’s a comedy. The show or film can provide a distraction from his problems. He may be feeling better or, at the very least, ready to talk about what’s wrong by the time the credits roll.
Creative Commons License