Because you can come to accept your partner’s lack of intelligence by focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship and the qualities in your partner that you like, your partner’s lack of intelligence does not mean the end of a relationship. Everyone possesses both positive and negative traits, and not everyone is or can be academically successful. Having said that, there are undoubtedly other aspects of your partner that you admire and adore. Accepting your partner as they are and learning to compromise will result in a happier and healthier relationship for both of you!
Method 1: Making Compromises for a Happier Relationship
1. Remember that intelligence is only one of your partner’s characteristics. Examine the various reasons why you and your partner are together. If a difference in intelligence has become a source of contention, it may be worthwhile to consider your partner’s positive qualities.
2. Trust is more important than intelligence. Trust is one of many characteristics that contribute to happy, healthy relationships, and one of the most common reasons for breakups is a breach of trust. In the long run, if you’ve found a trustworthy partner, this may be more valuable than intelligence.
3. Select open communication. Rather than focusing on the intellectual content of conversations with your partner, consider how openly and honestly your partner communicates with you. The chances of finding a partner who shares your exact intelligence level are slim. Finding a partner who understands your communication style and can effectively reciprocate it is much more likely.
4. Emotional intelligence should be rated by your partner. Remember that intelligence based on educational background is only one type of intelligence. Your relationship may be happier if you focus on your partner’s emotional intelligence, which is the ability to understand and empathise with emotions as well as navigate emotional situations. Consider the following emotional intelligence compatibility questions.
Is your partner there for you when you’re down?
When you’re angry, does your partner listen to you and validate your feelings?
Does your partner know when you’re upset even if you don’t tell them?
5. Recognize that your partner cannot meet all of your needs. One common mistake that couples make is expecting their significant other to be their confidant, business partner, and entire world. This is an unrealistic expectation. Every relationship we have with romantic partners, family members, and friends provides us with something unique. Your partner may not be able to discuss Noam Chomsky, but they will understand when you need a break or why you enjoy comic books.
6. Maintain your own sense of self-worth. If you believe you are dating below yourself because your partner is less intelligent than you, or vice versa, it may be tempting to lower your own self-worth. Remember that your worth and your partner’s worth are not mutually exclusive. However, if you truly believe you are not good enough for your partner, or vice versa, due to a difference in intelligence, the relationship may be doomed.
Through Rose-Tinted Glasses, You See Your Partner
1. Look at your partner through “rose-colored” glasses. Being in love may not be literally like wearing rose tinted glasses, but psychological research suggests that it can be beneficial to put your metaphorical rose tinted glasses back on and idealise your relationship and what initially drew you to your partner. Couples who focus on the positive aspects of their relationships and their partners’ characteristics are happier and less likely to divorce.
2. Encourage your partner’s desire to learn and participate. Instead of seeing your partner’s lack of knowledge on a topic you’re passionate about as a disadvantage, see it as an opportunity to share your knowledge. Encourage your partner’s interests and take the time to assist them in learning more.
3. Accept that differences in intelligence do not have to have an impact on happiness. Even if your partner is less intelligent than you, finding someone who respects and encourages you will result in more happiness than choosing an equally intelligent partner. According to research, differences in intelligence between partners have little impact on their long-term happiness, especially when compared to factors such as trust and respect.
4. Change your perspective on attraction. On a daily basis, we change the way we think about things. You change your diet and exercise routines if you have high blood pressure. You take sleep aids and change your schedule if you can’t sleep at night. When it comes to attraction, many people believe they can’t change how they feel, even if they keep ending up in unhappy and unhealthy relationships.
If you find yourself attracted to people who are either extremely intelligent or significantly less intelligent, try to find a happy medium.
Consider other factors of attraction besides intelligence and decide what is most important to you.
Turn your attention to finding a partner who is content with or without you. These self-assured, content individuals will make better partners regardless of their IQ.
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