Accepting that your fetish is a natural part of your sexual desires and learning to communicate your needs openly with a partner are the keys to enjoying your fetish. While many people consider fetishes to be outside the mainstream, many people have one or more of them. This is due to the fact that a fetish can be anything: an object, a body part, or a situation. You’ll be able to enjoy your fetish and feel sexually satisfied much more easily and healthily once you accept it as normal!
Method 1: Recognizing and Accepting Your Fetish
1. Determine your fetish. A fetish is a sexual desire for almost anything imaginable. Foot fetishes, breast fetishes, hand fetishes, fat stomachs, flatulence, amputated limbs, shoes, animals, animal furs, and thousands of other things exist. Recognizing how you are sexually aroused is the first step in learning to accept your fetish.
Fetishes are thought to be more common in men than in women, but this estimate is likely to be inaccurate. Women and genderqueer people are less likely to be identified as having fetishes in research studies because men are more likely to have erections and consistent ejaculation.
At least one-quarter of all adult videos produced in the United States feature fetishes.
2. Find others who have the same fetish as you. Look for sex-positive centres and online groups that encourage people to express themselves sexually in a variety of ways. You can look up “sex-positive” + your fetish item on the internet. There are also communities on social media.
The main thing you want is open, honest communication about your fetish. Consider leaving if a website tries to sell you something or makes you feel ashamed about your fetish.
Your fetish may be exciting and feel risky, but it should not put you in real danger. Look for communities that practise safe sexual practises.
Online communities can be a safe place to ask questions about your fetish or to find fetish-related items.
3. Consider whether your fetish causes any harm to anyone. While there is nothing wrong with having a fetish, causing harm to another person or yourself is never acceptable. Most of the time, fetishes do not cause harm to others. Self-harm can occur primarily if you become so fixated on your fetish that it interferes with your relationship, work, or health.
Masturbating to fetishes may be a safe way to participate in certain fetishes that cannot be practised safely (such as sex with animals).
If you have a fetish that could cause you or someone else physical harm, learn how to engage in it safely. Discuss with other members of the fetish community how to maintain safe sexual practises within your fetish.
4. Recognize that fetishes and kinks are perfectly normal. Some researchers believe that fetishes are so common that they should be recognised as a normal, healthy part of sexual exploration. Understanding your fetish as normal is a critical first step. You’re unlikely to enjoy your fetish if you don’t accept it as a normal part of yourself.
For many people, the fetish object is only required at the start of a sexual encounter.
A fetish item can be something you need to be present for before becoming sexually aroused, or it can be something you don’t need to enjoy sex.
5. Investigate your sexuality in a secure environment. Remember to keep your sex practises safe, sane, and consensual if you want to enjoy your fetish. It’s critical to remember to take physical and emotional care of yourself and your sexual partner.
Protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases by taking the necessary precautions. When appropriate, you should always use barriers and condoms.
Remember that communication is one of the most important aspects of sexual intimacy, especially when trying something or someone new. Always communicate when you begin to feel unsafe, and always respond immediately to another person’s indication of discomfort.
6. Isolation should be avoided. The most common cause of depression associated with fetishes is isolation. Don’t give up if you can’t find others who share your sexual fetish online. Not every fetish group can be found on the internet. Visual images work well for some fetishes but not for others.
Some fetishes, such as diaper fetishes, are more taboo in modern American culture than others. If you have a taboo fetish, you are more likely to experience isolation and depression than the average person.
Keep in mind that your sexuality is about more than just your fetish. While your fetish is important for sexual fulfilment, it is not your identity.
Sexual dissatisfaction can lead to depression. Speaking with a sex-positive counsellor or therapist may assist you in locating support.
Method 2: Talking About Your Fetish
1. Introduce yourself and your fetish. If you’re meeting a new person for the first time, you might not want to bring up the subject on your first date, unless you met through a special interest dating site. If you’re already in a relationship and want to introduce your fetish to your partner, go slowly at first. Acceptance is required when discussing your fetish. If you treat your fetish as a normal, safe experience, your partner is more likely to accept it in the same way.
Your partner may be aware of your interests already, or she may not be.
Depending on the dynamics of your relationship, you may want to schedule a lengthy discussion about the fetish.
2. Take it slowly at first. Your partner may require some privacy and time to process the new information. Don’t expect instant comprehension – though it may happen! Instead, take your cue from your partner. Allow your partner to comprehend your fetish at her own pace.
Don’t be embarrassed. If you are ashamed, you will send a mixed message to your partner and will harm your own self-esteem. There is nothing to be embarrassed about.
Don’t get defensive because you don’t have to defend your fetish to anyone. It is normal and natural to have a fetish.
3. Listen with patience. Remember that you’ve already accepted your fetish, which was most likely a gradual process. Your partner now has the option to accept your fetish as well. She may also reveal her own fetishes or sexual interests. Allowing yourself to openly listen to her concerns, questions, and reactions will strengthen your relationship.
Give it time if your partner refuses to discuss your fetish. She may simply require some time to process, or she may be in denial.
Some people may be uncomfortable discussing fetishes. Never try to force a conversation.
4. Pose inquiries. Your partner might not know how to approach you about your fetish. You can be helpful by asking her questions. For example, by asking questions, you can learn more about her fears or her interests in your fetish. Don’t assume that your partner has to ask the questions.
Show her some online resources that she can explore on her own.
Remember that she might not be able to express her thoughts and feelings about your fetish in words. This will take some time, but you can assist by asking your own questions.
5. Share your fetish’s pictures, images, or media. This may assist your partner in understanding what you want. Seeing pictures may help your partner accept your fetish as normal rather than strange and frightening.
If you’ve discovered a supportive community, you may have also discovered ways to bring up the subject of your fetish with your partner.
You may be able to find a group for people new to the fetish community that can help your partner learn more about your fetish.
6. Never impose your fetish on others. In a healthy relationship, consent is required. Recognize and seek alternatives if you have different sexual needs than your partners.
A therapist or counsellor may be able to assist you in navigating this stage of your relationship.
Most sex-positive therapists advocate for tailoring the relationship to the needs of the person with the fetish rather than attempting to eradicate the fetish itself.
Creative Commons License