You don’t want to come on too strong by texting your date 5 minutes after the date has ended, but don’t worry, it’s probably not as big of a deal as you think. If the date went well and the chemistry is there, a text message is unlikely to make or break your new relationship! With that said, if you’re trying to figure out if it went as well as you think it did or if you’re trying to get that second date, it’s worth taking a few minutes to choose the right words for your text.
1. “Did you make it home safely?”
Check in with them to see if they’re all right. If you’re not sure whether they’re into you or not, text them “get home safe?” and see how they respond. It’s approachable, doesn’t come across as overbearing, and is an excellent way to elicit additional information. If they text you back with a one- or two-word response and no follow-up, you’ll know they’re not interested in you. If they ask you questions or send you a flirty emoji with their response, you know you’re in.
You could also say, “I hope you got home safely!” It’s snowing heavily out there.”
If you want to let them know you had a good time, you could say something like, “Tonight was really fun.” “Did you make it home safely?”
As a general rule, you should avoid asking your date to text you first when they get home. It’s a clever way to trick someone into texting you first, but it can come across as a little overbearing and old-fashioned.
2. “Thank you for a fantastic evening.”
Keeping things formal is a good way to avoid awkwardness. If the date didn’t go as planned and you don’t know the other person well, this is a good way to let them know you’d be open to a second date if they’re also interested. First dates can be nerve-racking, so if you’re worried about overplaying your hand, keep things a little impersonal. Other examples include: “You were a true gentleman tonight.” Thank you for your wonderful company!”
“I had a lot of fun with you tonight. I hope you share my sentiments.”
“Tonight was absolutely fantastic. I had a great time at that restaurant.”
3. “I had a lot of fun hanging out with you!”
Speak up if you had a fantastic time and the vibe was there! There’s nothing wrong with telling your date you like them, especially if you believe the feeling is mutual. You may have heard about “three day rules” and keeping it cool, but if you have chemistry with your date, go for it. If you’re feeling confident, you can even suggest a second date right away. You could also say, “Tonight was fantastic.” I have a great time with you and can’t wait to see you again.”
“I had a great time hanging out with you. “Would you like to do it again soon?”
“I really enjoyed our conversation tonight. You’re so genuine and entertaining! I’m glad we went.”
4. “If that date were a movie, it would win an award.”
Being a little cheesy and playful is a memorable way to express that you had a good time. Going the cornier route takes guts, but it’s a good way to let your date know you like them while being vulnerable and open. This can be a bit of a risk if you aren’t sure your date had a good time, but it’s a safe way to let them know how you feel if your date values humour and appears to be interested in you. Formalized paraphrase Other possible responses include: “Was it just me, or were we the cutest couple in that restaurant?”
“It’s as if I’m a time traveller, because I see another date in our future.”
5. “I’m still reeling from the storey you told me.”
A reference to a memorable moment from the date is an excellent way to follow up. Ask them to remind you of the title of a book they’ve been reading if they bring it up. If your restaurant’s server did something silly, bring it up again to share a laugh. This is a great way to keep the date going, which is a good option if you had a good time together and want to keep the energy up. You could also say, “That storey you told about your friend forgetting to pick you up from the airport was so funny.”
“I just Googled it! You were completely correct about the title of that film.”
“I can’t believe I forgot to ask, but what happened to your friend after that crazy night you described to me?”
6. “Am I crazy, or was that an absolutely awesome date?”
Reviewing the date and being a little vulnerable might be a good idea. If you can’t sleep at night wondering if your date is into you or not, gently asking how the date went is a good option. By adding an element of uncertainty on your end, you also set the tone that you care about what the other person thinks, which is beneficial if you want a mature and authentic response. You could also text: “I think we can both agree that was a lot of fun, right?”
“Was it just me, or was that a lot of fun?”
“Can’t I be the only one who thinks we should do it again?”
7. “I had a good time beating you up at pool tonight, cute stuff!”
A little playful banter is a unique way to let them know you’re interested in them. It’s also a great option if your date was full of obviously sarcastic banter or if you did something competitive on your date, such as bowling. If the two of you are having a good time and you don’t think it will be misconstrued, try being a little flirty while dishing out the trash talk. You could also say something like, “I’m not sure how you kept up with me on the dance floor, but you’re not bad!” But I still believe my moves are superior.”
“You’re an excellent conversationalist, but I believe I’d win a debate.”
“Let me know if you ever want to lose at bowling again!” I’d be delighted to repeat that performance.”
8. To keep it cool, use emojis.
Emojis are a great way to express excitement without overdoing it. Write a short text message like “I had fun tonight,” and include a few emojis to help communicate how you feel about the date. If you’re not sure what you want to say or if you’re worried about saying too much and appearing clingy, this is a safe bet. Emojis help you convey your interest while maintaining a relaxed tone. You could use the following emojis:
The hungry face – With the suggestive tongue out and a playful smile, this is a great way to communicate that you’re interested in them without being too obvious.
The smirking face emoji is a smug and seductive emoji. This is a great option if the date was especially romantic and you want to be clear about how you feel.
The monkey with the “see no evil” emoji – The monkey with the “see no evil” emoji is a cute and playful choice. It’s subtle and sweet, and it implies that you’re overjoyed about the date.
The relieved face is a gentler, more delicate option. This is a great option if you want to send the message that you’re happy without coming across as cocky or suggestive.
9. “What are your plans for Wednesday?”
Ask about a second date if your follow-up conversation is going well. Making plans for the next date is always a good idea because it eliminates any uncertainty. Allow the conversation to develop organically once your date responds to the text you sent them. When the time comes, suggest that you meet up again soon.
What you say here will be entirely dependent on how your conversation progresses. Just make it clear that you want to see them again.
Don’t be too hard on them if they don’t seem interested in a second date. Every first date will fail, so don’t beat yourself up about it.
10. “I had a good time, but I don’t feel the chemistry.”
If the date did not go well, be honest in order to avoid leading them on. It’s okay not to click with someone, and you’re a good person if you’re thinking about letting them down gradually rather than completely ghosting them. Simply pay them a compliment or two and express your desire not to see them again. You don’t have to be cruel or rude, but it’s far better to be honest here than to leave them in the dark. “You are a really kind and wonderful soul, but I just don’t think we clicked tonight,” you might say. I don’t want to lead you on or anything, so please accept my apologies if that seems too forward. I wish you the best of luck in the future!”
“Hey there! Thank you for taking me out tonight; I had a great time. I’m assuming you feel the same way, but I’m not sure we have that spark. I hope you find him or her!”
Don’t ghost your date unless they did something truly heinous. It’s simply not a nice thing to do.
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