Texting a girl you’ve just met can be a fun and private way to learn more about someone you find attractive or fascinating. When texting a new girl, you want to appear respectful and interesting by displaying some class and asking questions that lead to ongoing, exciting discussions. You can even make her look forward to seeing you again in person and arrange another meetup or date if you do it correctly.
Part 1 demonstrates proper texting etiquette.
1. Give it some time. You might be tempted to text her as soon as you get those digits, but think twice: texting her while she’s still standing there may signal to her that you don’t trust her to be truthful about her number, and it may give her the impression that you’re pushy or overbearing.
If you truly want to ensure that you copied her phone number correctly, you can show her or read it back to her and ask her to confirm its accuracy.
The exception, of course, is if she asks you to text her so she can log your number as well, or if she texts you first to give you her number.
While there is no hard and fast rule for how long you should wait before sending that first text, it’s usually a good idea to wait until the next day (or the evening of the same day if you got her number in the morning / early afternoon and have long since parted ways). Any sooner makes you appear overly eager, but any later makes her wonder if she is more than a passing thought to you.
2. Text her to find out when she’ll be available. If you want your crush to respond to your texts and be excited about them, text her when you know she’s available. If you know she works until 5 p.m., for example, wait until after 7 p.m. to text her when you know she’s relaxing at home.
Use context clues from your first meeting to determine if her schedule is out of the ordinary. For example, if she mentioned feeling tired after switching to swing shift, you’ll know not to call her between 3 p.m. and 11 p.m.
If you don’t know the specifics of her schedule, it’s usually safe to assume she follows a routine. Texting in the evening, between 7 p.m. and 9 p.m., is a safe bet for your first text. You can adjust your timing as needed by paying attention to when she responds during subsequent texting.
3. Keep text messages to a minimum of 140 characters. Short text messages are more effective at capturing and maintaining someone’s attention. Short texts also keep your crush from becoming bored while she waits for your responses, and they keep you from coming across as needy if you send long, detailed stories about your life.
While this is especially important when texting a new girl, it is also a good rule to follow in the future. Texting should be reserved for short, lighthearted conversations; save longer topics of conversation for after you’ve gotten to know her better, as well as phone or in-person chats.
4. Correct spelling and grammar should be used. Writing correctly makes a good first impression and gives the impression that you value her enough to write well-thought-out messages that make sense.
Similarly, refrain from using too many acronyms and abbreviations. If she doesn’t understand what you’re saying, this can lead to misunderstanding and the end of your conversation. When you’re tempted to use an acronym, spell it out completely, and use simple acronyms like ASAP sparingly.
5. Use emoticons sparingly. Emoticons can be cute and funny at the right times, but they can also be annoying and silly if used too frequently or at the wrong times. For example, if she tells you a storey that makes you laugh out loud, use a laughing emoticon to show her that you think she’s hilarious.
Use emoticons only when you want to emphasise a particular emotion. Because most people interpret emoticons in the same way they would interpret the corresponding real-life facial expression, emoticons can help you clarify whether you’re happy, sad, or silly when making a certain remark.
A person’s facial expression, on the other hand, doesn’t usually change that much every millisecond, so if you litter a text message with a dozen different emoticons, you’ll come across as less sincere and potentially untrustworthy.
6. You should text the girl about as frequently as she texts you. Texting too frequently, or far more than she texts you, can make you appear desperate, needy, and unattractive. Maintain her interest by keeping your text-to-speech ratio close to one-to-one.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing if you start most text conversations early on, but avoid doing so if she hasn’t responded to a previous text that required a response. If she hasn’t responded to your first text, sending a second or third can make you appear desperate.
7. Be flirtatious but not overtly sexual. If you were flirtatious when you first met, you can be flirtatious when you text. However, you should always be polite and tailor your texts to what she is comfortable with.
To begin, try to be amusing, sweet, or a little cheesy. A good flirtatious text to start with could be something like, “”You were so lovely last night that I completely forgot about my pickup line,” or “It’s a shame you left so early yesterday.” I wished I could see more of your lovely smile.”
Sending anything obnoxious or overtly sexual is not a good idea. Sending sexy messages and photos to this girl so soon may offend her and cause her to block your number. Wait until you’ve spent more time together before sending intimate texts, and make sure she’s okay with it before sending her something she’d rather not see.
Finding Text Conversation Topics in Part 2
1. Begin with a text about how you met. This is an excellent way to break the ice and remind her of your identity. Furthermore, it demonstrates that you recall specifics about your interaction. For example, if you met her at a study group, inquire whether she is fully prepared for her upcoming test.
Similarly, you could carry on a conversation you had with her when you first met. For example, if she recommended a movie, you could say something like, “I just watched (movie title) and see what you mean about the (plot/cinematography/characters).” To keep the conversation going and encourage a response, you can then ask her opinion on a specific part or detail, or if she’s seen a similar movie.
2. Make the most of what little you know about her. You may not know much about this girl because you only met her recently, but if you managed to get her phone number, you probably know something. Scan through the conversation you had when you first met to find some detail about her on which to build a conversation. Because most people enjoy talking about themselves, asking her to tell you more about herself may spark a conversation.
For example, if she casually mentioned that she enjoys running at the local park, inquire about the distance she runs or her workout routine.
For example, if she only mentioned briefly that she works with children, you could ask her what kind of childcare work she does, if she enjoys it, and so on.
3. Try a random topic of conversation. If you’ve gone over your initial meeting in your head and you’re still stuck for ideas, a random question that piques her interest might work. Just make sure you pick something interesting and lighthearted.
It’s best to skip the standard greeting and dive right into the topic, giving the impression that the thought just came to you.
As an example, you could say something like, “Please hurry! Which is superior, gelato or frozen custard? This is extremely important…”
4. Send text messages that pique your interest. Create messages that, due to their mysterious and intriguing nature, you know will elicit an immediate response from this girl. For example, tell her you had a bizarre dream about her the night before. She’ll most likely respond quickly and ask you for more information about your dream.
When going this route, keep the tone of your initial meeting in mind. If you met in a casual setting with no hint of romance in the air, or if she seemed hesitant to give you her phone number, you might want to hold off on making comments about seeing her in your dreams until you’ve built some trust and romantic context in person.
5. Send her texts that will make her laugh. Using humour to bond and grow closer to most people, including your crush, is an effective way to do so. When in doubt about what to say, share a funny joke or a funny picture that will make her laugh without offending her.
Negative or demeaning jokes, even about yourself, should be avoided in favour of goofy one-liners based on puns and everyday observation. You could, for example, try something like, “The brain, in my opinion, is the best and most fascinating organ. But look at what’s telling me that.”
Part 3: Making Arrangements to Meet Again
1. Consider texting as a means to spend more time with her in person. The most intimate moments between you and this girl should happen in person, not over text. Text her sparingly, and save it for when you’re breaking the ice or making plans to meet in person.
Getting a girl’s phone number can be exciting, but don’t get so caught up in it that you lose sight of the goal. Use texting to stay in touch and establish a communication channel that will allow you to see her again.
2. While the iron is hot, strike. Don’t put off asking her out on a date or a casual outing because you’re afraid of offending her. You may not know this girl well because you only recently met, but if she gave you her phone number, she’s probably already interested in seeing you again.
This is especially true if you exchanged a lot of words when you first met. In this case, you could even start the conversation by asking to meet again: “I really enjoyed talking with you the other day. I’d love to get together again — how about next Saturday?”
It’s fine to text back and forth a bit beforehand if you didn’t talk much when you met or if you want to chat some before asking for a date. You should still try to ask her out within a few days; otherwise, she may think you’re weighing your options or are uninterested.
3. Choose a time and location based on what you know. While it is not required, it is often helpful to have a time and location in mind when asking a girl out on a date. This may appear difficult because you probably don’t know much about a girl you just met, but try to use whatever clues you have to come up with potential suggestions.
For example, if you met at a bar or social event, there’s a good chance that time slot is frequently available on her calendar. You could try asking her out again the following week during the same time slot.
If you mentioned a local sports team, ask her if she wants to go to a game. If you met while volunteering, invite her to another event benefiting the same cause. If you met at a school assembly, ask her if she’d like to meet for a study date at the library.
4. Be straightforward. The text requesting the date should be clear, concise, and respectful, regardless of when you ask her out. Don’t make her elicit details from you or leave her in the dark about the nature of the date.
Please try to provide an exact date and time for the date. If she says this isn’t working for her, you could ask her if another time would be better—but drop the subject for the time being if she says she isn’t sure.
Similarly, don’t be rude if she flatly refuses the date. It’s possible that she simply doesn’t have any free time at the moment; being rude will ruin your chances of getting a date when she does. Even if she truly dismisses you, it’s her loss; avoid the guilt trip and simply shake off the rejection.
5. Consider calling rather than texting. It is now acceptable in many situations to arrange a date via text rather than a phone call. It may even be more comfortable for both of you. If you’re feeling up to the challenge, consider making a phone call and asking her out that way; the extra effort you put in will show how serious you are about getting to know her better.
If you want a written record of the time and place, you can still use texting to confirm the details of your date later on.
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