Picking up girls is a skill, and the fundamental idea is the same as it is with any other skill: you start by practising it consistently and learning more along the way to improve it. The following are some key habits and practises that will help you improve your ability to pick up girls.
Method 1: Improving Your Approach Capabilities
1. Have some fun. When you go out, one of your primary goals should be to have fun and amuse yourself. Anxiety and fear diminish when you are having fun. As a result, you naturally feel unneedy and don’t take rejection or life too seriously. Which is appealing to the majority of people. So it’s important to entertain yourself and talk about things that you find interesting and funny, regardless of whether the other person will like them or not. As you’ll see later. Furthermore, if you are not having fun, you are more likely to give up because you will take rejections personally.
2. Go out on a regular basis. ‘Pick up,’ like any other skill, should be practised on a regular basis. So going out on a regular basis is extremely beneficial.
However, don’t rely on ‘going out frequently’ as a crutch. To begin, it is beneficial to go out on a regular basis until it becomes second nature. As a result, you do not always need to set aside time to practise.
You can practise while grocery shopping, walking around town, running errands, taking public transportation, and so on. To get started, it is highly recommended that you read How to Cold Approach a Girl and How to Pull a Girl Home.
3. Learn how to properly stop girls. There will be numerous occasions when you will need to pull over to talk to a girl. The manner in which you stop a girl is crucial, as it can distinguish you from a creep to a confident person. Here are some guidelines for various scenarios.
When a girl or girls approaches you, start talking or waving at them when they are about 7 to 15 feet away. Use your common sense; don’t start talking when they’re too far or too close. This would not come as a surprise to them, and they would have enough time to let their initial reaction fade. For example, as you and the girl approach each other, wave to her and say something amusing to her, such as “Hello, do you remember who said, “Love is trash?” ‘People require money.'” or “You only realise violence isn’t always the answer when a mosquito lands on your face,” or something more indirect like “Hi, Do you know if there’s a coffee shop around here?” or a situational opener such as “Where did you get the hat you’re wearing?” She would usually stop as a result of her social conditioning. Then you can explain your intentions to her, such as “I was just kidding; I thought you were absolutely adorable and had to say hello.” You can also remain indirect based on the girl’s response and vibe exchange. In fact, remaining indirect can help you stay in a conversation longer, which helps you hone your interpersonal skills. At the same time, make sure to subtly communicate your intentions (as you will read in the next section).
Also, if you want to be more dominant, simply stand in front of the girl/woman while making a stop sign with your hand. Make sure you have enough space between you and her. Check to see if this works for you. If not, there is no need to keep redoing it. A humble smile can go a long way.
If the girl/woman in front of you is walking in the same direction as you, jog or run up to her, tap her on the shoulder lightly, and say “Hi.” This may come as a surprise to her, but it conveys confidence. You can also simply approach her until you are shoulder to shoulder, turn your head towards her, say “hi,” and deliver your spiel. Before saying anything, make sure she sees you coming.
Another option is to call her from the back. As you walk towards her, say something like “Excuse me” or “hi,” and when she stops or turns around, deliver your spiel.
When a girl walks in your direction from behind you, simply turn around and do your spiel. Make sure you keep an appropriate distance between you and the girl so you don’t startle her.
Maintain your position. Do not follow the girl or walk backwards if she is walking away, despite your assertive request to stop or after you have finished your spiel. Maintain your position and allow her to walk away. You wouldn’t want to talk to someone who can’t stop talking for a few minutes to listen to you.
It is, however, acceptable to walk with a girl if she appears to be in a hurry and/or asks you to walk with her. It’s also fine to walk with a girl for a while to get a sense of her mood. If you feel in tune, you can ask her to stop or simply continue walking with her if you want to get into a social mood, interact with her, or build social muscle. Whatever appears to be more natural. Of course, only if the girl is okay with you walking alongside her.
4. Be assertive while remaining calm, and lead with common sense. Most girls/women prefer a man who is assertive, commanding, and a leader. It makes no difference how self-assured or independent they are. The reason for this is due to biological and evolutionary factors.  Formalized paraphrase Many of the attractive girls will most likely not stop or engage in conversation with you unless you are assertive and leading. Try this next time: as a girl walks away from you, say something assertively but calmly like, “Wait a minute! I’m speaking to you “, as you motion for her to come to you. If you do it correctly, it may activate a biological switch in her brain, making her compliant. Yes, attraction is mutual, but you are the one who initiates and leads it.
This is not to say that you should force yourself to be assertive. Use common sense and naturally calibrate based on the girl’s response and your personality. As a result, you don’t have to be assertive all of the time. Furthermore, as more people become conscious and transcend societal and mental conditioning, a growing minority of women do not have unrealistic and sometimes irrational expectations such as high status, good looks, height, muscularity, having a lot of money, being an alpha male, and so on.
5. Accept rejection as a part of the process. Keep in mind that many girls will not be interested in you due to factors such as being taken, personal preferences, biases, or life circumstances. Simply move on; there is no need to keep doing the same thing over and over if it isn’t working for you. Being aware of your breath and/or inner body is extremely beneficial.
Given the high number of rejections from cold approach pickup, it should not be regarded as the only way to meet and date women. Other deeper benefits include getting out of one’s comfort zone, public speaking, non-neediness, having fun, being social, practising non-reaction, present moment awareness, becoming more aware of deep-seated mental patterns, caring less about what others think, and so on. Furthermore, it is a form of meditation because it brings you into the present moment.
6. Recognize the girls’ level of interest. Girls/women are classified into three types:
“Yes,” ladies. “Yes” girls are those who are attracted to you from the start. These are the girls with whom you can easily strike up a conversation and go on dates.  Unless you messed something up, that attraction will last almost indefinitely. Here are some tell-tale signs of ‘yes girls’:
They maintain eye contact with you for a longer period of time than usual.
While you’re talking to them, they should be playing with their hair.
Feet pointing in your direction.
Laugh at your “unfunny” jokes.
Make contact with you.
Follow your lead and reflect yourself.
I’d like to invite you to meetups.
Even if the conversation is getting cold, don’t leave.
“Perhaps,” girls. These are the girls who are unsure whether or not they are attracted to you. To entice them to like you, you must be polarising from the start. Otherwise, they will lose interest. ‘Polarizing’ means using common sense and calibration to talk and do things that you genuinely find fun (your humour) and interesting. It also aids in weeding out girls with whom you would not be more compatible. Being polarising, on the other hand, may offend others. Which is fine, but it helps to avoid being highly and explicitly polarising from the start, as girls may become ‘too repelled.’ So it’s a good idea to gradually and subtly polarise in order to eliminate girls who aren’t compatible with you. As a result, they are not overly offended. As an example: Keep an eye out for the girl’s/reaction woman’s after you make a polarising joke that you find amusing, such as “Have you realised that life is sexually transmitted?” Take note of how the girl responds, such as how she laughs, her motivation to continue the conversation, her body language, the tone of her voice, and so on. This comes with practise and is very beneficial in the long run. As you will be able to quickly pick up on subtle cues such as facial gestures, tone of voice, eye contact, and so on to determine whether you will get along or not and exit a conversation. For more information, see How to Be Polarizing.
“No,” ladies. These are girls who are completely uninterested in you. It is better not to waste your or their time because you will most likely not get anywhere. Formal paraphrase Some ‘No’ girls may flirt with you for attention. Use it to improve your interaction and social skills, but don’t take it seriously. The vast majority of girls will say “maybe” or “no.” These types of girls may exhibit the following characteristics:
I’m not making good eye contact with you.
Giving brief responses.
I’m ignoring you. For example, checking their phone, looking away, continuing to talk to her friends, and so on.
They are pointing their feet away from you, as if they want to walk away.
Here’s something to consider about yourself: If you feel like you’re trying too hard to get her to talk to you, or if you feel resistance or unease within you (such as in your heart, chest, and face region), these could be signs that she’s a No girl, or that you’re not polarising enough and/or having fun. It may be better to be polarising or to move on and learn from the experience.
7. Make a video of yourself. Recording yourself while practising pickup can be quite beneficial. Watching/listening to your recordings can greatly improve your social skills because it can help you identify mistakes and sticking points that you were previously unaware of. Body language, facial gestures, strange noises you make, up-talk (unassertive tone), neediness, poor eye contact, supplicating behaviour, and so on are examples of such things. In fact, recording yourself is so important that if you don’t, you’ll likely end up ruminating for weeks, months, or years, trying to figure out what you’re doing wrong. You are not required to record every interaction. Just a few recordings here and there should be enough to help you identify your sticking points and become more aware of the mistakes you’ve been making repeatedly.
Before you go out and start filming people, make sure it’s legal in your country or jurisdiction. For example, in most states in the United States, recording someone without their consent is illegal. Formalized paraphrase If that’s the case, go ahead and do it at your own risk.
Recording of audio. Because most smartphones have a recording function, you can use yours as a recording device. Simply put on earphones like you’re listening to music or wrap them around your neck like a stethoscope and turn on the recorder before approaching. Before you go out, make sure to test it to see if the voice quality is adequate when recorded from various angles. For better sound quality, you can also use a digital recorder with a high-quality microphone. Search for it on any e-commerce website.
Making a video. If you want to take it a step further, have a friend videotape you. Turn on your audio and signal your friend to begin video recording before each approach. It’s quite beneficial because signalling makes it easier to sync audio and video when using a video editing programme.
If you don’t have anyone else to record you, you can use a spy or body cam. Do it at your own risk, once again.
Yes, listening to and/or watching yourself may make you cringe, but that is exactly what you need to become more aware of your sticking points and good things, as the truth will be right in front of you if you are open to it.
Method 2: Develop Conversation Habits and Practices
1. Make a genuine, deep connection. The majority of guys “want” something from women. It could be sex, social status, physical intimacy, bragging rights, or anything else. Even if they do get it, they are unsatisfied. Why is this so? It is due to the fact that the human mind is inherently needy or insatiable. It is always looking for something, oblivious to the fact that no possession, relationship, or achievement can provide it with long-term fulfilment. For more information, read the final step of How to Stop Being Needy. The deeper truth is that she is, in essence, a human being like you. This means they’ve been through ups and downs, have a life storey, have passions or interests, and, most importantly, you’re basically the same. Isn’t that enough to establish a strong bond with them? The more you delve into it, the more you’ll realise that sex or physical intimacy is merely a byproduct of genuine communication. Dropping small talk in favour of deeper conversations is also divisive.
“Be thankful for what you have and rejoice in the way things are. When you realise there is nothing missing, the entire world becomes yours.” – The Tao Te Ching
Passions, childhood, goals, personality, travelling, sense of humour, ups and downs in life, ambition, and favourite things are just a few conversation topics that can help. More information can be found in the linked video. 36 inquiries
When you truly understand the essence of who you are, it becomes much easier to connect deeply with others, as they will be naturally drawn to you in subtle or obvious ways if they already have some depth.
“When you realise where you came from, you naturally become disinterested, as kind as a grandmother. As regal as a king.” The Tao Te Ching.
Be practical at the same time. Yes, most of the guys are goal-oriented, so getting laid is a great motivator and end goal for them. So, rather than ‘trying’ to make a deep genuine connection, which doesn’t work anyway, simply be aware of it in order to naturally internalise it into your game as you explore its long-term benefits. Alternatively, experiment with it to see if it works for you and then incorporate it into your game (as you will read in section 3).
2. Remember that it is critical to communicate your intentions honestly. Even if you have a strong connection with a woman, you may not want to commit to her, and this should be communicated through your intentions so that she does not feel pushed. Sub-communication (body language, tone of voice, etc.) should be consistent with what you say.
In the end, it comes down to your priorities. What is your goal, and what is more important to you? Is it physical appearance, sex, showing off, meaningful connection, or all of the above, and to what extent? Be completely honest because your intent communicates far more than your words. Only by understanding and accepting this will you be able to move beyond the states of desire and fear. This means that if you’re into looks or want to have sex, be honest about it rather than trying to hide your desires. Be aware, however, that your actions are motivated by your desire to have sex with women. As simply being aware will eventually take you beyond.
In any case, there’s no point in attempting. However, if you are trying, don’t force yourself not to try. As you’ll see later.
3. Recognize the romantic connection. Because of the fundamental idea it is based on, women place a high value on romance. Men used to provide for their families in ancient times, while women raised children and cared for the home. Even though people are gradually coming out of it, as many environments encourage self-sufficiency, the vast majority of people still have the same conditioning. To a woman, a romantic connection implies that a man will be there for her when she needs him. That is why it is so potent and rare. This is something to keep in mind.
4. When you go out, make a point of conversing with older or “less attractive” girls or even guys. Because you can hold a conversation with a less attractive or older girl/woman for a longer period of time. As a result, it is easier to practise having a normal fun and genuine conversation with people without wanting anything in return. As a result, you will be able to improve your social skills and develop non-neediness. Furthermore, this practise not only helps you perceive people beyond their appearance, but it also helps you change and dissolve your pre-conceived concepts, biases, and paradigms, which cause a lot of suffering. If you look at it that way, it also helps you gain reference experience.
It’s also a practical way to get into and maintain a social mood. As a result, when you approach that hot girl you find attractive, you are already in a more fun and confident frame of mind. Polarizing does not always imply moving on to other girls because you realise you will not be compatible with them.
Keep in mind that viewing people through concepts or beliefs based on their appearance, age or background, or other characteristics not only limits yourself and others, but also misses out on “rare” opportunities to meet some genuinely cool people and learn about their life experiences. Following this practise may result in experiences that permanently alter your current paradigms and mindset. This can put you on the fast track and save you years of hard work and frustration. This is one of the reasons you should not pass up opportunities to interact with, or go on meetups or dates with, girls who are taken, less attractive, or older than you.
“When people see some things as beautiful, they see other things as ugly. When people see something as good, it causes other things to become bad.” The Tao Te Ching.
Be practical, once again. Yes, attraction to attractive girls/women is a powerful motivator. So it’s fine to use this motivation to approach and date hot girls, but to go beyond it, be aware that the motivation stems from conditioned attraction to their fleeting physical appearance. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck at that level and won’t be able to progress any further. More information can be found in the final step of How to Become Mentally Flexible.
5. To deal with tests, use non-reaction. Girls are excellent at putting your patience to the test, as well as your overall character. It’s an ingrained behaviour, so they may not even realise they’re testing you. They will engage in all manner of shenanigans and games in order to elicit a response or rise from you. It’s as if they’re testing you to see if you’re deserving of them.
What is your typical response if they say something like, “You are much older than me; I am just a young sophomore girl?” “Yeah, I know, but I’m not that old,” she may say, or “I’ve dated girls your age before.” These are defensive and supplicatory reactions.
Instead, flip the script by looking them in the eyes and saying something like “Yes, I am a senior citizen. “I don’t think you’ll be able to handle me,” “I’ve always wanted to be a sugar daddy,” or “Yeah, you better watch out.” I am a child molester.” You can also qualify them this way.
It’s the same as using your opponent’s energy against them without causing conflict or using force. As seen in non-aggressive martial arts such as Aikido and Tai-Chi. So keep your cool. Most girls find a non-reactive and non-needy mindset extremely appealing.
Second, if they say, “I have a boyfriend,” or “I am seeing someone,” instead of responding with generic responses like, “Okay, it was nice meeting you,” remain non-reactive. “Oh yeah, me too,” you might say, or “Amazing, let me give you a hug” (then go in for the hug), or “Oh, that’s fine. A three-way is fine with me “or “But I still love you,” and so on. It’s as if you’re subconsciously telling her, “I’m not concerned with whether or not you have a boyfriend. I’m going to have a good time either way.” Once more, When you go out, one of your primary goals should be to have fun. Otherwise, fear will take over and you will take rejections seriously, eventually giving up. For more information, see Get a Girl to Go Home With You.
Third, instead of reacting when a girl is rude or rejects you, channel your reaction into something constructive or fun. Instead of dwelling on the rejection’s reaction, do things like bow down as you leave, approach another girl right away, and so on. You could also say, “I’m just going to tuck in my tail and go talk to that girl.” You can also simply express your feelings by saying something like, “That hurts a lot. “You broke my heart” or “I knew it. “You are such a tall and attractive girl.” or “I’ll just leave.” “I don’t want to deal with your ego,” or “I can see into your future.” At the grocery store, an elderly woman is pushing a stroller with a slew of cats in it “.. When you express your mental-emotional state honestly and/or channel your reactions in a fun, creative, and constructive way, you are both therapeutic and vulnerable. Naturally, with common sense.
Reactions are conditioned mental-emotional patterns, not you. You shouldn’t take them too seriously. For more information, see Dissolve the Ego (According to Eckhart Tolle’s Teachings). When you realise you are not your thoughts, reactions, or emotions, you naturally become less reactive. Also, the more you fail at something, the more likely it is that you will succeed at it. It’s also known as the “fail-fast mentality.” Section 4 discusses additional non-reaction practises.
So, don’t react, because in the long run, you may realise that rejections or failures can be just as, if not more, valuable experiences than desired outcomes. For more information, see Become Mentally Flexible. There is always something to learn, so no experience is wasted.
“Behind every seemingly bad situation is a deeper good, which reveals itself to you through inner acceptance of what is. Tolle, Eckhart.
Furthermore, reactions deplete your energy, and as a result, you may be unable to practise for an extended period of time. A practical tip: if you reacted, you will most likely feel awkward when approaching other girls because you just reacted to a girl at the same venue. In addition, women are more likely than men to be believed in Western society.
Again, polarise subtly and gradually to quickly filter out those girls/women with whom you will not be compatible, so they are not offended and you do not have to deal with symptoms like this.
“She is kind to those who are kind. She is also kind to those who aren’t. This is genuine kindness.” The Tao Te Ching.
Because facts are empowering, here’s a factual tip: No matter how frighteningly beautiful they appear, their physical beauty or body, like yours, is subject to the law of impermanence. That is, it will wrinkle, become frail, and eventually turn to dust, just like your body will. With this realisation comes a sense of playfulness and a devaluation of forms and appearances. Of course, this does not imply that you should disregard your body’s needs. In fact, when you truly understand the ephemeral nature of all forms, including your own, you value and appreciate them even more.
6. Practice being amusing. A good sense of humour is at the top of the list of attractive qualities. Because it not only implies that you don’t take life seriously, but it’s also intelligent. It’s also magnetic. Why do good comedies, stand-ups, and movies draw such a large audience? If you don’t know how to be funny, watch standups, funny videos or shows, read funny content, and so on.
Utilize apps such as iFunny and YouTube. On these apps, there is frequently posted humorous and informative content that you can apply to your own life situation. These apps’ content can help you solve the problem of running out of interesting, funny, and witty things to say.
However, don’t use your sense of humour as a ruse to avoid rejection. Rejections are an unavoidable part of life.
If you practise non-reaction, being funny, and making deep genuine connections with women (or people in general), the conversation practises listed below are merely supplements to improve your conversation and social skills.
6. Make use of the “us” mentality. It’s a very persuasive conversation tool for keeping the girl engaged and can quickly make both of you feel at ease. Making the conversation about both of you, rather than just you or the girl, is what it entails. For instance, if she expresses a preference for a video game series, “If someone says, “Sims,” you can respond with something like, “You know, we should play “Sims” at my house.” I’ll order pizza, and you’re welcome to bring the soda. We can co-create a home with a garden full of lilies and sh*t. Also, what colour paint should we use to paint our baby’s room? “.. It’s as if you’re bringing her into your world or a bubble you’ve created for both of you. Don’t take yourself too seriously or you’ll end up pushing her away. But, once again, act in accordance with your intentions.
Use the “us” mentality in accordance with your personality and sense of humour, or it will not come across as genuine. Experiment to better understand your sense of humour and personality. To see if you find sexual, plain, lame, or sarcastic humour funny, try using it in your conversations. It helps to make a good connection if the girl enjoys it as well.
Remember that it’s all about you, not the girls. You must always put yourself first by talking about and doing things that you enjoy. It may appear selfish, but it is not. It’s because if you’re having fun, the people in your company will, if they’re compatible with your personality, have fun as well.
8. Play a role. This means you’re both playing roles in an imaginary scenario you’ve created. To get a better idea, read the conversation in the image.
9. Make it more sexual. Sexual hints are essential if your goal is to have sex with the girl. Some of these practises may be useful in generating sexual energy:
Consider having sex while conversing with girls/women. This injects sexual energy into the conversation. Take care not to become engrossed in fantasising or obtaining an erection.
During conversations, use sexual humour with caution and without forcing it. Allow it to flow naturally, as if you were conversing with a friend. For more information, see Get a Girl to Go Home With You.
Use your body language to convey your intent. When interacting with a girl, try leaning in closer, touching her, subtly communicating your intentions with facial gestures, and so on. But don’t push it. Allow it to happen naturally.
Maintain strong eye contact. Maintaining strong eye contact is very effective. As the expression goes, your gaze should pierce her soul.
Physical escalation occurs. If you can learn how to do it correctly, this is gold. It is most effective at night. However, it is acceptable to do so in moderation during the day. For more information, see Make Out with a Random Girl and Pull a Girl Home.
Stop molesting yourself. Masturbation, or at least reducing the frequency with which it occurs, helps to naturally build sexual energy within you that surfaces during your interactions. Remember that this might or might not work for you. Also, instead of masturbating to porn, think about your sexual experiences or fantasies when masturbating. This improves your imagination and prevents you from using porn as a crutch. Relying on pornography can be a harmful habit that affects both your sex and your personal life.
10. Maintain a healthy balance of interest and disinterest. Be wary of exaggerating both disinterest (teasing, sarcasm, playfulness, etc.) and interest (compliments, praise, etc.). Maintaining a sense of balance keeps the girl on her toes.
Here are some examples of verbal expressions:
“You’re cute (pull), but you don’t seem like my type (push).”
“Here, put your phone number in my phone (pull), but promise me you won’t call me again (push)”
“Come to my place (pull), but promise not to touch me below my waist (push)”
“You’ve forgotten my name? I don’t want to talk to you (push). However, I also forgot your name (pull).”
Here are some concrete examples:
While making out, “push” at the precise moment when her desire for you is strongest. This will increase her desire for you.
Don’t go straight for the girl’s breasts or vagina (push); instead, gently touch around other areas (pull).
11. Understand the distinction between persistence and supplication. Persistence is when you continue to persuade or draw the girl into a conversation despite the fact that she appears interested but is constrained by social conditioning (“yes” and “maybe” girls). Signs could include laughing at ordinary jokes, attempting to walk away but failing to do so, smiling, maintaining longer eye contact than usual, playing with her hair, giving vague answers when asked for her phone number or going out for a drink, and so on. However, when looking for these signs, use common sense. If she is serious, proceed. There are a lot of females. More advice can be found in Get a Girl to Go Home With You.
Maintain a straightforward approach. If a girl does not properly respond to you, your texts, or calls, take it as a sign that she is not interested or has other priorities. There may be no need to persevere indefinitely. Continue your journey. Yes, some girls enjoy playing games, but you may come to realise how irrational and futile they are in the long run. However, keep in mind that some girls may be genuinely busy. As a general rule, it’s fine to contact them once or twice a few days after your last text.
Method 3: Experimentation
1. Experiment with your strategy. Pickup is highly subjective because you meet a wide range of people with vastly different personalities, mental interpretations of events, conditioning, humour, and so on. Assume that telling a joke to one girl, Martha, makes her laugh while telling the same joke to another girl, Anna, makes her cringe. Is this to say that Martha is more cool than Anna? Possibly. There could be a variety of explanations for their disparate reactions. Here are a few examples:
Because the joke was polarising, your personality and sense of humour resonated more with Martha.
Anna could be in a bad mood, didn’t like you or the joke, didn’t like your physical appearance, prefers taller guys, prefers guys her own race, thought you smelled bad, doesn’t like to crack jokes with random strangers, is insecure or has irrational beliefs, realises you weren’t confident enough for her, didn’t like your grooming, didn’t like your clothes and style, is a “no” girl, etc.
You have no control over other people’s reactions, actions, personalities, or moods, and worrying about it will only make you suffer. Even your own thoughts and emotions are uncontrollable; they are automatic and conditioned. For more information, see How to Become Mentally Flexible and How to Surrender to the Present Moment.
So, as mentioned in the article and related articles, focus only on the key practises or habits that are under your “direct” control. For more information, see Become Mentally Flexible. Dress well, groom and smell good, work out, speak confidently and assertively, learn from your audio recordings, maintain focused eye contact, properly stop girls, keep an observation journal, be nonreactive, meditate, pay attention to your inner body or breath, make a deep connection, correct your body posture, have fun, and so on.
2. Experiment with new things. Practicing pickup as an experiment means that you can try new things as test cases and simply observe the results as a scientist would, without any emotional or mental interpretation. Allow the true unconditioned interpretation to emerge naturally, and you will be able to see clearly what works and does not work for you. “A good scientist has freed himself of concepts and keeps his mind open to what is,” says Tao Te Ching.
For example, if you’ve discovered that maintaining eye contact during interaction increases attraction, don’t immediately reject or accept it. Make use of it as a test case. Observe the results of maintaining gentle and focused eye contact in all of your approaches. Don’t become identified with the outcome, as a good scientist would. This could last a few days or just a few approaches. It will be determined by your personality, openness to new experiences, humility, depth, and learning curve. Integrate what you discover into your game in the same way that a successful scientific discovery is adopted by people on a larger scale.
Be mindful of mental constructs. A structure such as, “Girls seem to be drawn to me when I maintain strong eye contact. So if I keep doing that, I’ll get the same or similar results every time “would be yet another mind-created concept created in a futile attempt to comprehend the world through the mind. It’s fine to use concepts at first or on occasion, but as you progress, you shouldn’t cling to them because they fragment reality. As a result, truly intelligent and intuitive action is impossible. The mind is not the most intelligent faculty in humans, but the formless ‘Awareness’ is. For more information, see How to Stay Rooted in Being.
This is the ‘Awareness’ feeling that Einstein alluded to when he said “The scientist’s religious feeling takes the form of rapturous amazement at the harmony of natural laws, which reveals an intelligence of such superiority that all systematic thinking of human beings pales in comparison. This emotion is the driving force behind my work.”
3. Examine the truthfulness of your self-limiting and false beliefs. Different people may have different self-limiting core beliefs that influence their actions, words, and personality. These beliefs are mirrored in the people around you, as the world is simply a reflection of your state of consciousness. Assume you have a belief or conditioned thoughts that say, “They would feel threatened if I did something out of the ordinary.” Be aware that these beliefs or thoughts in your head will most likely be mirrored in the people around you. Because these thoughts, which are fundamentally energy, are sensed unconsciously or subconsciously by others. As a result, others may perceive you as dangerous. Even if you are a nice person in reality. Yes, they may perceive you as threatening as a result of their irrational beliefs or stereotypes. This may cause you to see yourself in the same light as a mirror. Despite the fact that I am acutely aware that the primary reality is within. To break free from this cycle, you must become aware of your conditioned patterns and recognise them as not being who you are. For more information, see Become Mentally Flexible.
The majority of these irrational and negative beliefs arise from identification with personal and cultural conditioning, as well as misinterpretations. Which leads to identification with the mind in the end.
Another method for breaking free from irrational beliefs is to collect evidence to determine whether or not they are true. Assume you have a negative belief or thought that comes before approaching girls and it goes something like this: “What’s the point of it all? “She’s going to reject me regardless.” or “She’s going to frown at me.” “.. The validity of these beliefs should then be tested through experimentation. This means that when you approach a girl, simply observe to see if it’s true. When evidence suggests otherwise, it is this that aids in changing these self-limiting beliefs. Don’t give up after a few attempts. As previously stated, it is determined by your personality, openness, and level of awareness.
Consider any instances when girls have been receptive and interested in you as additional evidence. This method is similar to cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). For more information, see How to Eradicate and Stop Negative Thoughts.
Before testing the beliefs, be aware of the unconscious expectation or you may end up in scotoma. Scotoma is a psychological condition in which the mind sees only what it wants to see and disregards any evidence that contradicts the belief. For example, if a girl rejects you and you say to yourself, “See, I knew she’d reject me.” This indicates that there was an unspoken expectation attached to it. This suggests that your mind is more open to evidence that supports the belief rather than seeing the subtle truth of the situation. Again, be very honest, open to what is, and simply observe without attachment or expectation, as a good scientist would. In other words, be present as background awareness without interfering with anything. These unconscious beliefs, no matter how minor, subtle, or deeply ingrained, can live in you for decades and continue to reflect in your reality if they are not made conscious and recognised as not being who you are. To detect them, a high level of alertness and honesty are required. As an example, see if you can identify mental patterns (thoughts and reactions) that arise in the left side of your brain when you are confronted with a difficult situation. For more information, see How to Stay Rooted in Being.
Make use of affirmations. For some people, replacing negative beliefs with affirmations can be a beneficial practise. Whenever a negative or demoralising thought arises, such as “she’s too hot for me” or “she’s so out of my league,” immediately replace it with something positive, such as “I deserve it” or “You are worthy.” As a practical measure, it is beneficial to have a balance of relationships, health, and wealth to support these affirmations (as you will read in the second step of section 6). You can also immediately feel your inner-body, become aware of your breath, or become aware of your sense perceptions. To put it another way, become present. Which is the most effective practise for removing self-limiting and negative beliefs?
This also implies that you must deeply understand that you are not your mind (thoughts, emotions, and reactions), but rather the One who sees them. That is when your true power manifests itself.
4. Obtain a second opinion. An unbiased third party would not care whether you did something good or bad while viewing your recordings; he or she would simply observe. The word “I” and its variants have a strong identification. Which of the sentences “I failed the test” or “She failed the test” is more upsetting? Nonetheless, they are nothing more than ideas or concepts in your head.
You can also simply ask the girls if there is anything about you that they think could be improved. You’d be surprised how many of them do. However, just because they have a vagina does not make them the de facto expert on dating and pickup. Furthermore, girls are not usually a good source of authority when it comes to explaining why they like or dislike certain things. Here’s an example: You don’t ask fish for advice on how to catch a fish. You inquire of the fisherman.
5. Maintain a journal. After practising pickup, keep a journal and write down what you like and what you need to work on. Because you can’t always record yourself, keeping a journal can help you become more aware of the mistakes and good things you’ve done during your interactions. Or, to put it another way, to become more aware of the truth. You can also record your mental notes as voice recordings. To get a better idea, read the notes in the image.
6. Determine your demographics. As previously stated, everyone is unique, with their own personality, interests, and interpretations. So going to places where there is a higher chance of meeting like-minded people is extremely beneficial. For example, if you enjoy video games, your chances of meeting others who share your interests are greater at a video game arcade than at an outdoor club. Similarly, if you enjoy books, you are more likely to meet like-minded people at a book club, library, or bookstore rather than a bar. Meeting girls in places where your demographics congregate will increase your chances of success. Also, if you want to improve your chances even more, be the industry leader in your field. For example, instead of attending meditation events, help to organise them. Instead of going to libraries, organise book club events where you can discuss books and, of course, meet girls.
This is not to say that you should avoid going to places like bars, events, or outdoor clubs. You can still meet interesting people and practise your social skills there. Because almost everyone has more than one interest, your chances are slim. So strike a balance. Again, it’s not always about getting girls, but going out on a regular basis can help you with other aspects of your life, such as public speaking, overcoming irrational fears, and so on. We discussed it earlier.
Method 4: Become Aware of Your Current State of Consciousness
1. Ask yourself frequently, “What is my current state of consciousness?” None of these guidelines will be effective unless your consciousness is in a state of acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm. There will be no creativity, and you will be forced to relive the same mind-created reality over and over. For more information, read How to Surrender to the Present Moment.
Have some fun. When you’re having fun, the static of mental resistance and negativity dissipates, revealing your true nature. “How can I make this situation more enjoyable?” ask yourself. Again, don’t push it. Allow it to happen on its own. We discussed it earlier. For more information, see How to Stay Rooted in Being.
When you feel anxious, afraid, or any other negative emotion, simply shift your focus from the negative emotion to present moment anchors or channel it out by making the situation fun and silly. For example, depending on your sense of humour, you could say to yourself or girls, “I am feeling dead inside,” “I am being a vagina,” “You look so good that my fingernails are sweating,” and so on. Accept what is or act immediately if that is not possible. It’s also a good idea to use apps like iFunny, YouTube, and others that have funny memes or videos that relate to your situation. Furthermore, memes can be useful when texting girls. Read Become Mentally Flexible for more information.
It’s all energy (low to high frequency) arising and subsiding in your awareness space. Because energy can only be transmuted, practises like these assist in channelling or transmuting negative energy in a creative and constructive manner.
Method 5: Practice Non-Response and Humility
1. Acceptance should be practised. Pickup, like everything else in life, has its ups and downs. There will be times when you have a lot of successful interactions and times when you have a lot of failures. There may also be micro-periods of ups and downs among these ups and downs.
Acceptance comes from deeply realising that this is a part of life. Acceptance comes into play when life is in a downward spiral. Sickness, a weak body, loss, failure, a bad phase in life, and so on. In the grand scheme of things, these ‘down’ phases are absolutely necessary for spiritual depth and can be excellent teachers to help you be more compassionate, forgiving, and cope when life hits rock bottom. So keep going and trust in the universe.
“Behind every seemingly bad situation is a greater good, which reveals itself to you through inner acceptance of what is.” Tolle, Eckhart. For more information, see How to Surrender to the Present Moment.
2. Exercising non-reaction is a good idea. Most other pickup techniques or practises are far less effective and appealing than non-reaction. People who are non-reactive are generally thought to be cool. It’s because they don’t respond to ‘what is,’ and they take life far too seriously. Here are a few pointers to help you practise being nonreactive:
Feel your body as much as you can from within. Especially when interacting with others. Then compare the quality of the interaction to when you are not aware of it. Keeping some attention within your body while doing anything not only brings immense joy and peace from within, but it also frees you from the enslavement of compulsive thinking. Your body is infinitely more intelligent than your mind because it connects you to the radiant and vast peace of Being or One consciousness. For more information on this, it is highly recommended that you read How to Stay Rooted in Being.
Be mindful of your breathing and sensory perceptions. The awareness of one’s breath and/or sense perceptions also shifts focus from the mind to the Now. Because there is no suffering in the Now, suffering is reduced.
Here’s a practise: while doing anything, pay attention to your sense perceptions and/or breathing. When you do this, you may notice that it naturally increases your joy, peace, and the quality of your actions.
Accept the situation as it is. It means to accept whatever arises in the Now from within.
3. Make an effort to be humble. It entails letting the true “you” shine through and not acting out roles when interacting with others. Do you communicate with your boss in the same way you would with a supermarket cashier? If you don’t, you’re playing roles, and you’ll end up playing different roles when you talk to different people in your life. That is what gives people a gamey and ingenious appearance.
People who practise humility are much more approachable, friendly, and genuine. It’s because they don’t cover up their true (negative or positive) personality with fleeting confidence derived from identification with form, such as good looks, wealth, skills, nationality, and so on. You can discover your true and essential invulnerability by becoming “vulnerable.”
“Humility entails trusting the Tao and, as a result, never having to be defensive.” The Tao Te Ching. For more information, see How to Practice Humility.
This does not imply that you should force yourself to ‘not play roles.’ Instead, simply being aware of the role-playing patterns will take you beyond them. Awareness is Intelligence in and of itself.
“If you want to get rid of something, let it flourish,” says Tao Te Ching. In this context, it means that you should allow yourself to be gamey even if you are aware of it. The ‘flourishing of gaminess’ will eventually force you to accept and progress past it.
When you are aware and allow it to be, a different dimension of consciousness, far more intelligent than the human mind, emerges through you.
However, keep in mind that the ego is very clever. You may believe you are allowing it to exist, but in reality it could be the ego’s hidden desire to dissolve it as soon as possible. This entails viewing the present as a means to an end. More on this can be found in Surrender to the Present Moment.
Method 6: Striking a Balance
1. Live a fascinating life. People who pursue their passions, hobbies, and desires are thought to be very attractive. For instance, musicians, tech entrepreneurs, actors, adventurers, and so on. Living an interesting life provides you with a lot of interesting topics to discuss. It also aids in the development of your confidence and enthusiasm. The majority of people are uninteresting and lead uncomplicated lives. They may go to work or school, then return home to play video games, talk and hang out with friends or family, watch TV or movies, and so on. Life revolves around these things, and that is what they usually discuss.
What was the most exciting, daring, or spontaneous thing you did in the last 100 days? What are your interests? Make it a habit to do something interesting and new that you enjoy doing on a regular basis. Hiking, skydiving, visiting new places or exploring your city, visiting animal shelters, volunteering, and pursuing your passions or hobbies are just a few examples.
2. Work on balancing your health, wealth, and relationships. It’s critical to strike a good balance between these three factors if you want to get good at pickup. Because all of these elements are interconnected and support one another. People who strike a balance between these factors have a better chance of quickly becoming proficient at pickup. Because they will be able to easily connect the dots between these areas and sub-areas. People who have a good social life, for example, are more likely to be confident and successful.
While a lack of one of the aspects would almost certainly have an effect on the other two in the long run. For example, if you spend too much time making money (wealth) and caring for your health, it is likely that your social life (relationships) will suffer. This, in turn, may have a long-term impact on your wealth and health (both emotional and physical). Similarly, if you have wealth but have a poor social life or health, your wealth may suffer as a result.
There is, however, a paradox. If you completely accept the ‘lack’ in one or more of these areas, it may work for you as well. As acceptance makes way for the most powerful force in the universe.
This can also be used as a priming effect. This means that if you spend a lot of time doing pickup, you may realise the value of relationships, health, and wealth in the long run if you want to get good at it. There’s a chance you’ll burn out during this process without even realising it. Because everyone is different, try different things to see what works best for you.
3. Recognize that appearance, status, race, and wealth all matter. Let’s be clear: they do matter, and anyone who says otherwise is either lying or ignorant.
They are more important in some cases than others. As an example: Girls in Western countries generally find white men more attractive than men of other races. Yes, it is more difficult for non-white men in the Western world, but if you accept it without reservation, it can also work to your advantage and potentially help you access inner timeless beauty within. In other words, you become less reliant on passing glances. Also, when you approach and talk to girls, you come across as polarising. When you maintain your cool in the face of adversity and embrace challenges, you will naturally go deeper. As difficulties push you deeper.
However, the above external factors do not matter as much as men believe. In some ways, men are fortunate that women are not as concerned with physical appearance as they are.
Method 7: Developing Important Habits and Practices
1. Make it a point to develop good habits. In addition to the paradigms, habits, and practises mentioned above, the following are some common habits that are equally important:
Prepare your home for visitors.
Go out with a group of wingmen. It is extremely beneficial to go out with good wingmen. Look for wingmen on Facebook and online forums.
Work out, groom yourself, maintain personal hygiene, eat healthily, smell nice, and dress well. These habits alone will increase your attractiveness by 20-30%, guaranteed.
Speak from your chest or your entire body instead of your head and nose. When you speak, be aware of where the air is coming from. Your voice will not be as deep if it is coming from your nose. As a result, your speech has less impact.
Above all, try to stay as in touch with your breath and/or inner body as possible. This practise will be more transformative than all of the other practises mentioned combined.
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