It’s easy to get carried away when you’re in love because it’s exciting and fills you with hope. Rushing a relationship, on the other hand, can prevent you from developing a healthy relationship with your new partner. Slow down with your partner, spend more time with your friends and family, and put off making a commitment. Then, work on developing a positive relationship with them. Additionally, strive to be your best self in order to be ready for a healthy relationship.
Slowing Down with Someone Is Method 1
1. Recognize the signs that your relationship is being rushed. If you’ve only recently started dating your partner but already believe they’re “the one,” you’re probably rushing your relationship. True love takes time to develop, so give yourself plenty of time to get to know your partner and fall in love. Here are some indications that you may be rushing:
You devote all of your spare time to the person you’re dating.
Yours is primarily a physical relationship.
You can’t seem to stop texting them.
You’re always talking about your relationship on social media.
You’re worried about losing them after 1-3 dates.
2. Spend time with friends and family to divert your attention away from the relationship. It’s natural to want to see someone you like as much as possible when you meet them. Spending all of your time with your new romantic partner, on the other hand, hastens your relationship. Make plans with your friends and family instead. This way, you’ll be having fun and your mind will be diverted from your new relationship.
For example, suppose you have a Friday night date with your new partner. Make plans with your friends for the entire day on Saturday so you aren’t tempted to see your romantic interest again.
3. Maintain any plans you’ve already made with friends. When you really like someone, you might not think twice about dropping everything to see them. Simultaneously, doing so creates an unhealthy dynamic in your relationship and focuses too much of your attention on your new partner. Even if the person you’re dating wants to see you, stick to your original plans. Instead, let them know when you’re available and try to set up a date then.
Assume you had planned to go karaoke with your friends on Friday night, but your romantic partner calls and asks to go out. “I already have plans with friends tonight, but I’m available tomorrow,” you say. “Could we then go out?”
You may be concerned that they will not have time to see you on another day. Someone who is truly interested in being with you, on the other hand, will make the time to see you. If your romantic interest isn’t going out of their way to see you, they’re probably not as invested in the relationship as you are.
4. Continue to date until you have a good understanding of a person. When you find someone who appears to tick all of your boxes, it’s natural to want to give them your undivided attention. However, you don’t know them all that well. Don’t become exclusive with them until you’ve gotten to know each other and are both ready.
If the other person asks, you don’t have to tell them you’re dating other people. Similarly, don’t bring it up with them unless you want to be exclusive.
5. Wait at least three dates before getting intimate. It is entirely up to you when you become intimate, and it is acceptable to explore your sexuality. Having sex early in a relationship, on the other hand, may make you feel too connected to the person. If you have a habit of rushing relationships, wait until you’ve gotten to know the person before taking things to the bedroom.
If you don’t feel like you know the person well enough, you may decide to wait longer. For example, you could wait a month after you’ve been dating.
6. Concentrate on making a connection rather than developing a relationship. When you’re looking for “the one,” you’re more likely to rush into things with any romantic partner you come across. This, ironically, can make it more difficult to find the right person for you. When you first start dating someone, don’t worry about whether they’re “the one” or if you have a future with them. Instead, try to connect with them and see where it takes you.
Learn about the person you’re dating! Try to identify their best qualities as well as their flaws.
If you realise that the relationship isn’t working, it’s okay to call it quits. However, don’t automatically assume that someone is your soulmate because they seem perfect for you after just one date.
Method 2: Establishing a Positive Relationship
1. After a few dates, be honest about what you want in a relationship. A healthy relationship necessitates honesty. Furthermore, telling your partner what you want ensures that you will not pretend to have the same goals as them in order to keep the relationship going. After you’ve gotten to know each other on a few dates, talk about what you want in a relationship.
You could say, “I want to take things slowly, but I want a relationship that will lead to marriage,” or “I want a serious relationship, but I want someone who will support my career choices.”
2. Maintain your friendships and family relationships. Don’t give your undivided attention to your partner, as this creates an unhealthy dynamic. Even after you’ve made a commitment to your relationship, you should continue to spend time with your friends and family. This will make both you and your partner happier.
Text your friends and close family members on a daily basis, and see them at least once a week.
Spending too much time with your romantic partner can make you reliant on each other, which can hasten the progression of your relationship.
3. Keep your feelings to yourself until you are certain that you are in love. You may feel in love early on in the relationship, but don’t tell your partner until you’re certain. Sharing your emotions too early in a relationship can lead to a level of intimacy and commitment that neither of you is truly prepared for. Furthermore, it may cause you to focus on an idealised version of your partner rather than their true self. Wait until you’ve gotten to know the person well enough to know you’re in love with them.
For example, even if you feel it, refrain from saying “I love you.”
Tip: It’s natural to imagine a future with the person you’re dating. However, do not bring up topics such as marriage or children in the early stages of your relationship.
4. Be forthright about your partner’s flaws. Because no one is perfect, your partner will have flaws. Early on in your relationship, it’s likely that you’ll only notice their positive characteristics. Recognize their flaws as time passes. Otherwise, forming a healthy relationship with them will be difficult.
For example, your partner may be a little more sloppy than you’d like.
If you believe your partner is flawless, you are most likely projecting your own image onto them. Make an effort to get to know the real them.
5. Make big decisions after you’ve been dating for a few months. After just a few dates, you may fantasise about moving in with this person or having a child together, but don’t rush into a big commitment. Make a rule for yourself that you will not make any major decisions until you have been together for a certain amount of time, even if you believe it is the best option. Instead of rushing things, this will help you build a healthy relationship.
For example, you might decide not to discuss moving in with them until you’ve been together for more than 6 months. You could also commit to deferring an engagement until you’ve been together for more than two years.
Method 3: Concentrate on Yourself
1. Pursue your personal objectives rather than just a relationship. Imagine your ideal life, then write down what you’d be doing in it. Make a list of goals that will help you achieve your life’s most important objectives. Break those goals down into measurable objectives, then start checking them off as you go. This will assist you in creating a great life for yourself in order to find the right partner to fit into it.
As an example, you may decide to start your own business and purchase a home. Your immediate objectives may be to begin business school, work on your business plan, and save for a house.
Tip: It is easier to find a good partner and build a healthy relationship when you are living your best life. You will attract better matches and have the confidence to make the best decisions for yourself.
2. Enjoy your single status while you wait for the right partner. It’s natural to be afraid or depressed when you’re alone. However, if you focus on what makes you happy, being single can be a wonderful time in your life. Use this time to pursue your interests, have fun with your friends, and explore your options. You’ll meet the right person for you when the time is right.
Take a class, for example, to learn something you’ve always wanted to try.
Use this time to complete a personal goal, such as writing a book or earning a degree.
Travel and experiment with new things.
Spend your free time with friends and family to remind yourself that you are loved.
3. If you’ve recently broken up, take a break from dating. Going through a breakup can be extremely painful, and you may be tempted to enter into a new relationship to make yourself feel better. However, jumping from one relationship to another too quickly will not be healthy in the long run. You’ll most likely project your feelings for your ex onto your new partner, and it’ll be difficult for you to take things slowly. Give yourself a month for every year you were together to work on yourself after a breakup.
If you dated your ex for less than a year, allow yourself at least a week for every month you were together.
4. If you believe you require a relationship, consult with a therapist. Rushing into a relationship can sometimes be a result of your childhood experiences or a mental illness. Fortunately, a therapist can assist you in getting to the bottom of your desire to be in a relationship. They will also teach you how to change your thoughts and behaviours so that you can make better decisions for yourself.
Request a referral from your doctor to a therapist, or look for one online. Check with your insurance company to see if your sessions are covered.
For example, conditions such as borderline personality disorder or ADHD may cause an urge to rush into a relationship. Similarly, if you are afraid of rejection as a result of childhood experiences, you may find it difficult to take things slowly.
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