Unrequited crushes are the worst, don’t you think? You’ve got it bad for a cute girl, but she doesn’t seem to share your feelings. While you can’t force anyone to like you, there are some things you can do to get her attention. With any luck, she’ll notice what a fantastic catch you are. Even if she doesn’t, you can still work on becoming the best version of yourself so that when that special someone comes along, you’ll be ready for her!
1 Hang out in places where you’re likely to run into each other.
She might be more attracted to you if you’re around more. Take advantage of any natural opportunities to be near your crush! For example, if she always meets her friends outside the gym before school, you could ask your best friend to do the same. If you know she works at a nearby coffee shop, you might pay her a visit every now and then for a latte.
This is known as the familiarity effect, which states that spending time with someone can often make you feel more positive about them.
Just don’t go too far. It will appear creepy if you are constantly showing up wherever she goes. A good rule of thumb is to only hang out in places you’d go even if she wasn’t there, so it appears as if you’re naturally crossing paths.
2 Request a favour from her.
Giving her the opportunity to assist you may make her like you. When you like a girl, it’s natural to want to do everything for her, such as carry her books or fix her flat tyre. It’s fine to be there if she asks for something, but she’s more likely to be interested in you if you let her help you with something instead. This trick was famously used by Benjamin Franklin to win people over—if it worked for him, it might just work for you!
If you’re in the same class as her, ask if you can borrow a pencil. If you’re at a bar, ask her if she can keep an eye on your drink while you make a phone call.
3 Make her laugh.
A great sense of humour is always appealing. Send her a funny meme or tell her a storey about something funny that happened earlier in the day. Don’t be afraid to be silly—if you can make her laugh, she might just start seeing you as crush material.
Be prepared to laugh at yourself as well! Instead of being upset because you spilled mustard on your shirt, you could say, “Well, I always thought this shirt needed a splash of yellow.”
4 Make a list of things you have in common.
She will like you more if you are similar to her. People like to say that “opposites attract,” but we’re more likely to fall for someone with whom we share a lot of interests. When you’re with your crush, let her know when she says something you agree with, and speak up when she mentions a band or a movie you enjoy. Just be honest about it—if you pretend to like things just because she does, she’ll probably be offended when the truth comes out.
For example, if she mentions that she enjoys baseball, you could say, “Oh, I grew up with my father watching the Mets! What is your favourite sports team?”
Discuss values you share as well—for example, if she mentions protecting the environment or reducing her carbon footprint, you could say, “I think taking care of our planet is really important.”
5 Be her friend without expecting anything in return.
Get to know each other without feeling obligated to date. There’s no guarantee that this will lead to a relationship; in fact, if she thinks you’re just being her friend because you want to date her, she’ll most likely reject you. If you genuinely like this girl, try to enjoy building a friendship with her. She may grow more attracted to you as you get closer, but even if that never happens, having more friends in life is always a good thing.
If you can’t be best friends with your crush, that’s fine. You can’t help how you feel about someone, and if getting too close without dating is painful, it might be best to keep some distance.
6 Tease her a little.
Playfully, but not in a mean-spirited way. Teasing a girl can show her that you like her but are confident enough to play with her. But be careful—if you tease her about something she’s sensitive about, you could seriously hurt her feelings and push her away.
To keep things lighthearted, try teasing her about one of her strengths in a way that sounds insulting. “Hey Taylor, are you ready to fail this math test today?” you might say if she’s really good at math.
7 Do not tell her that you like her.
When she’s around, keep your cool. Try to act completely natural, as if you’re uninterested in her. Spend time with your friends, reading a book, or doing whatever you’d do if she wasn’t there. This may appear counterintuitive—you may believe that the best thing you can do is tell her how you feel! However, if you are overly eager, she may withdraw.
Acting uninterested can pique her interest in you, which may lead to her liking you more!
To step up your game even further, alternate between ignoring her and showing interest in her. When you keep her guessing, she’ll think about you more because she’ll be trying to figure out how you’re feeling!
8 Follow her on social media.
Just don’t like too many of her photos. While it’s acceptable to interact with your crush on social media, don’t go through her feed and like every single post. A few reactions or a single comment is sufficient. Also, instead of focusing solely on her selfies, engage with posts that show who she truly is, such as a photo of her soccer trophy or a photo of her snoozing pup.
If you leave a comment, try asking a question about what’s going on; this will demonstrate to her that you’re interested in learning more about her. For example, if she posts a photo of a home-cooked meal, you could say, “This looks amazing, did you make it yourself?”
Don’t follow every single account she has, as this may appear overbearing. Follow her instead on the one or two platforms you use the most.
Show off your pet on your feed if you have one! According to some studies, having a furry friend can make you more appealing to women—and, besides, everyone enjoys scrolling through pictures of cute animals.
9 Make friends with her closest friends.
She may like you more if her friends like you as well. Making an effort with a girl’s friends will demonstrate to her—and to them—that you genuinely care about her. And if her friends think the two of you would make a cute couple, they might even persuade her to give it a try!
If you see her out with her friends, say hello to all of them, not just the one you like. Remember things about them and make an effort to be friendly. Just don’t flirt with them or your crush will think you’re crazy.
10 Carry yourself with self-assurance.
Self-assured people appear more attractive. Experiment with standing up straight, shoulders back, and chest out. When your crush is nearby, this type of posture will project confidence; however, try it when she isn’t nearby as well, so it becomes second nature.
This is a clever trick because you will not only appear more confident, but you may also begin to feel more confident!
11 Make an effort to look good.
Take care of yourself in order to look your best. While it’s important to find someone who likes you for your personality, it also doesn’t hurt to look good. That doesn’t mean you have to dress like a movie star; simply styling your hair and wearing clean, well-fitting clothes can go a long way.
In addition, try to eat a healthy diet, get enough exercise, and get enough sleep every night to feel and look healthy and strong.
12 Engage in interesting hobbies.
Spend your time doing things that pique your interest. That way, when your crush asks what you did over the weekend, you’ll have something interesting to say. And if your life becomes more interesting, she may become more interested in being a part of it.
Don’t waste your time doing something you don’t want to do just to impress a girl. However, if you discover she’s the outdoorsy type and you’ve always wanted to try hiking, now might be a good time to do so.
Pay attention to how your crush reacts when you talk about your interests—if she thinks it’s boring or uncool, consider whether the two of you would be compatible in the long run.
13 Be kind to others.
Do nice things for no apparent reason. Speak up for a student who is being bullied in the lunchroom, or buy a sandwich for a man sitting on the sidewalk. When you show kindness to others without expecting anything in return, it reveals a lot about your personality. That will make you appear more attractive to your crush, but it will also make you a better person in general—a it’s win-win situation!
14 Spend time with your friends.
Having a crush does not require you to abandon your friends. You may believe that you must spend all of your time with your crush, but the opposite is true. Being a part of a group of friends can enhance your attractiveness.
Try posting photos of you and your friends on social media, or plan a group outing somewhere you believe your crush will be.
Spend time with other girls if you’re friends with them—a little friendly competition might just pique your crush’s interest in you.
15 If she simply isn’t interested, back off.
Respect her personal space. It’s critical to recognise when you’re making someone uncomfortable. No matter how much you like her, if she asks, leave her alone. Other indications that she isn’t enjoying your attention include:
When you speak, she will frown or roll her eyes.
Making no eye contact with you
When you ask her questions, she gives you one-word answers.
When you’re around, she’s preoccupied with her phone.
When you’re touching her, you’re pulling away.
She may cross her arms or turn away from you.
Talking about other men or claiming to have a boyfriend
16 Don’t be too depressed if she doesn’t like you.
Sometimes people just aren’t meant to be together. It doesn’t mean you’re perfect; it just means she wasn’t the right girl for you. Take care of yourself and continue to put yourself out there. You’ll eventually meet someone who appreciates you for exactly who you are.
Keep in mind that it’s not her fault, either—she can’t help but be uninterested in you, just as you can’t help but be uninterested in someone. Don’t treat her as if she’s done anything wrong. You’ll look more mature if you can handle the situation respectfully and gracefully, and you’ll feel better about the whole thing in the long run.
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