You have a crush, but boys can be difficult to understand at times. They have a different appearance, smell, speak, and act than girls. They are, however, still people, and as such, you can communicate with them in the same way that you would with any other person. Here are some pointers on how to approach a man.
Part 1: Conducting Research
1. Keep an eye on him at school. You can often tell a lot about a guy by how others treat him, who his friends are, what grades he gets, and so on.
Keep an ear out for his conversations. Sit nearby and listen if you see him talking to someone before or after class, or walk by and try to catch a few of his words.
Try to work with him on a group project and strike up a friendly conversation.
Discover his interests, such as sports or music, and attend some of his games and performances. How he performs in competition will reveal how he views the world, whether he is aggressive and a leader or more laid back.
Take note of how he treats others. Someone may ask a stupid question, and he may laugh, revealing himself to be a jerk. Alternatively, someone may require assistance, and he will assist. People’s true personalities shine through in how they treat others, especially when they are unaware that they are being observed.
2. Consult your peers. If you trust your friends, you should be able to ask them, and they should be able to give you an honest opinion about your crush.
However, be wary of incorrect information. Perhaps your friends like him as well, and as everyone knows, all is fair in love and war. They may provide you with inaccurate or outright false information.
Even if they don’t lie or mislead you, they may not tell you the whole truth out of fear of hurting your feelings.
3. Pay attention to your acquaintances. If there are girls in class who gossip about boys and you sit near them, they may tell you a lot without you even asking.
Friends may tell you what you want to hear, but people you don’t know well or at all are likely to be more forthcoming with information.
Part 2: How to Begin Your First Conversation
1. Please say hello. This is the simplest and most direct way to get to know a person, whether he or she is a boy, girl, man, or woman. It’s also refreshingly honest, and it makes it clear to him that you’re interested.
Boys usually have to work up the courage to approach girls. If you talk to him first, expect him to be perplexed.
It’s not the end of the world if he’s not very responsive. He could be very shy and have no idea how to talk to girls.
2. Make light conversation. You don’t have to approach him and strike up a conversation to make this work. If you happen to see him in the hall, think of something insignificant to say to him.
Inquire about his classes, his friends, fun things to do in the area, the weather, the time, and so on.
Just try not to bring up anything too serious, such as his hopes and dreams, fears, or anything personal. That would be off-putting, and you want to get his attention first before learning about who he is and what he stands for.
Look for a topic to discuss that he enjoys. For example, if he’s wearing a band tee, inquire about the type of music they perform.
3. Make direct eye contact and a sincere smile. If you don’t want to approach him directly, make eye contact, smile, and then look away.
Repeat if necessary, as he may not understand the first time. One look and smile may be an accident, but two or three are completely deliberate.
You may come across as creepy if you don’t smile and make eye contact, so smile!
4. Request a loan of something. If you need a pen or a pencil, you could ask the person next to you. But why would you do that in a class with your crush? Go up to him and tell him what you require.
Most people will not refuse to let you borrow something as insignificant as a pen or pencil, so he is unlikely to refuse your request.
This also gives you an excuse to return to him and speak with him again when you have to return whatever you borrowed. Take advantage of the opportunity to be a little flirtatious, and say something like “You’re a hero to me! I couldn’t have finished Ms. Pepper’s exam without your pen.” Be inventive, and don’t squander the opportunity.
5. Look for help. Perhaps you’re at the library and “need” assistance finding a book. Perhaps you “lost” your backpack. Whatever it is, find your strong young man and try to persuade him to assist you.
Check that the request is at least somewhat legitimate. If you hide your backpack under your library table and ask for assistance in finding it, he might think you’re a ditz.
Enlist the assistance of a friend. If you “lost” your phone, simply hand it over to a friend while you spend ten to twenty minutes looking for it with your guy. Try to strike up a conversation while you’re looking, and if you can’t find it, thank him profusely and depart. When you’ve “found” your phone, go up to him again and express your gratitude for his assistance. This is an excellent opportunity to initiate a second conversation.
6. Take a seat nearby. Introduce yourself and start a good conversation once you’re in close proximity.
If he is sitting at a small table, in an empty classroom, or is the only one in the dining hall or cafe, sitting next to him will be awkward. Try to keep your cool.
Part 3 Getting to Know Him a Little Better
1. Continue the conversation. “Hello” is only the beginning, and you won’t get very far if that’s all you say to him. You’ve broken the ice and are having a decent conversation, but you’re at a loss for how to take it to the next level. Consider some good questions to ask, such as: What makes you smile?
What is your favourite movie, video game, or book?
Where would you go and why would you go if you could travel anywhere in the world right now?
What kinds of sports do you enjoy?
What was your most proud moment?
What qualities do you look for in a woman?
What is the most outlandish thing you’ve ever done?
What do you like to eat?
Keep in mind that this isn’t an audition. If you only have a good conversation, you can always start another one later. The more you converse with him, the more at ease you will be around each other.
2. Get his phone number. Ask him for his phone number if you’ve had a good conversation. You’ll probably see him around a lot, which is always a good thing because you’ll be able to call and text each other.
If he senses your interest in him, he may save you time and ask for your phone number.
If you’re not sure how to get his phone number, there are guides that will walk you through the process.
3. Make an effort to make friends. This is how you get to know a guy.
Expand on your first conversation and try to figure out what it is that makes him tick. Small talk is great for meeting someone for the first time, but it’s called small for a reason: there’s so little of it that you quickly exhaust its potential. You don’t need to plan out what you’ll say ahead of time, but you should consider how you’ll transition from talking about your interests and friend groups to more substantive topics.
If you’re unsure how to proceed, start by asking your guy friends or, if you have any, your brother(s). They are also men, so they may be able to advise you on what you should say or do. However, keep in mind that each person is unique, and their advice may not be the best for the specific person you want.
4. Don’t let your friendship be the end of your relationship. You became friends with him in order to get to know him better, but you want to be more than just friends. If you get to know him well and feel compelled to pursue him further, try to make that clear to him.
Drop hints about your plans. Flirt with him, pay him compliments, or invite him to do things with you. If he doesn’t pick up on your subtle hints, his friends will when he tells them what you two are up to.
To show him you’re interested, try gently brushing up against him or briefly placing your hand on him while you’re talking.
Remember that he may like you as well, but people are shy. If he is someone you want to be with, don’t be afraid to make the first move.
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