To different people, abortion means different things. While some people feel relieved afterward, it can be difficult for others. Here’s how to maintain your relationship in the face of an abortion.
Method 1 Reflecting on the Abortion
1. Depending on your and your partner’s feelings about abortion, this process could be simple or long and complicated.
2. Ascertain that the partner who had the abortion is well-cared for. The doctor’s orders must be followed, and the person must rest and relax for a while. If your partner underwent the procedure, try to be available for snuggling, assisting with cramps or pain management, and providing love and support.
A woman who has had an abortion may require 1-2 days to recover.
Data does not support “abortion trauma,” and most people who have abortions feel better about it in the long run.
3. Avoid being misled. “Crisis pregnancy centres” and other anti-abortion organisations may exaggerate the risks of abortion or provide false information in order to steer people away from abortions. Look for pro-choice websites that aim to educate rather than scare people away, and that focus on factual information about caring for yourself and/or your partner.
Planned Parenthood and Scarleteen are two examples of fact-based resources.
4. Allow yourself time to process your own emotions. Some people have a difficult time dealing with abortion, while others are fine with it. You could be relieved, sad, disappointed, awkward, or nothing at all. Take the time to work through difficult emotions if you are experiencing them.
If you need to talk to someone, consider calling the Exhale hotline.
5. If your partner is having difficulty dealing with their own emotions, assist them. Some people see abortion as a simple medical procedure, while others see it as the loss of a precious life, and everything in between. Take the time to listen to and respect your partner’s feelings, no matter what they are.
“How do you feel about this?” inquire.
Validate their emotions and demonstrate that you care.
If you don’t feel emotionally capable of supporting your partner right now, encourage them to talk to family members or other close loved ones.
6. Take steps to prevent future abortions. Discuss contraception with your partner. Abortion is a difficult and expensive procedure, so it is best to avoid conceiving an unwanted foetus in the first place. Investigate and discuss your options to determine what is best for the two of you.
There are numerous ways to avoid an unwanted pregnancy.
It can be beneficial to use more than one method at the same time (for example, birth control pills and condoms) in case one of them fails.
Method 2 Maintaining a Strong Relationship
1. Inquire with your partner if they want to talk about what happened. Your partner may want to listen, be uncomfortable, or have no strong feelings about the situation at all. Let them know you’re available for whatever they require.
“I’m here to listen if you want to talk about any feelings about what happened,” try saying.
2. Discuss any issues in your relationship. If there has been tension in your relationship, a problem (such as an unexpected pregnancy) may only accentuate it. If you want to stay together, you should talk about it when you’re both calm.
In case your partner is too stressed for it right now, ask if it is a good time first. For instance, you could say “I believe we are having communication issues. I care about you and want to work with you to solve this problem. Is now a good time to bring it up?”
3. Be gentle with yourself and your partner. The unwelcome pregnancy may have caused you both stress. You don’t have to feel better right away, and you shouldn’t be too hard on yourselves or each other. Gentleness and understanding should be practised.
If you become irritated, say, “I’m upset, and I’m going to take a break.” This will assist you in avoiding doing something you will later regret.
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