It’s understandable that you don’t want to come across as aggressive by texting your date 5 minutes after the date has ended, but you can rest assured that this is probably not as big of a deal as you might think. If the date went well and there is chemistry between the two of you, a text message is unlikely to make or break your budding relationship! With that said, if you’re trying to figure out if your first date went as well as you expected it to or if you’re trying to secure a second date, it’s worth taking a few minutes to craft the perfect text message.
1 “Did you get home alright?”
Check in with them to see how they’re doing and see if they’re feeling alright. If you aren’t sure whether they are interested in you or not, send them a text saying “get home safe?” to see how they respond. It’s friendly, it doesn’t come across as overly assertive, and it’s an excellent way to probe for additional information. In the event that they respond to your text with only a one- or two-word response and no further communication, you can assume that they aren’t interested in you. If they respond to your questions or send you a flirty emoji with their response, you know you’ve won them over.
You could also say something like, “I hope you arrived safely at your destination!” “It’s snowing like crazy out there right now.”
If you want to let them know you had a good time as well, you could say something like, “Tonight was really fun.” “Did you make it home safely?”
As a rule of thumb, you should avoid asking your date to text you first when they get home from work or school. A clever way to trick someone into texting you first, but it can come across as a little too parental and old-fashioned for some people.
2 “Thank you for a wonderful night.”
Keeping things a little more formal can help to keep the awkwardness to a minimum. The use of this phrase is appropriate if the date did not go perfectly smoothly and you do not know the other person very well. It is also a good way to let them know that you would be open to a second date if they are also interested. Since first dates can be nerve-wracking, it’s best to keep things as impersonal as possible if you’re concerned about overplaying your hand. There are several other ways to say this, such as: “You were a true gentleman tonight.” Thank you so much for your wonderful company!”
“I had a great time with you tonight,” says the author. I hope you have the same sentiment.”
The evening was absolutely fantastic. “I had a great time at that restaurant.”
3 “I had a great time hanging out with you!”
If you had a fantastic time and the vibe was there, don’t be afraid to speak up! Telling your date that you’re into them is perfectly acceptable, especially if you believe the feeling is reciprocated. You may have heard about all kinds of “three-day rules” and “playing it cool,” but if you feel a connection with your date, go ahead and do it. If you’re feeling particularly confident, you can even suggest a second date right away.  You could also say something like: “Tonight was fantastic.” Spending time with you is a real pleasure, and I can’t wait to see you again.”
“It was a pleasure to spend time with you.” “Would you like to do it again shortly?”
“I really enjoyed our discussion tonight. You’re so genuine and entertaining! I’m glad we went out together.”
4 “If that date was a movie, it’d be up for an award.”
Being a little cheesy and playful is a memorable way to express that you had a good time with someone. Going the slightly cornier route takes courage, but it’s a good way to let your date know you’re interested in them while also being vulnerable and open with them. While this can be a bit of a gamble if you aren’t sure your date had a good time, in the case of a date who values humour and who appears to be interested in you, it is a safe way to communicate your feelings. There are a variety of other possible responses, such as: “Was it just me, or were we the cutest couple in that restaurant?”
“I have the sensation of being a time traveller because I can see another date in our future.”
5 “I still can’t get over that story you told.”
Follow-up can be accomplished by making a callback to a memorable moment from the date. If they brought up a book they’d been reading, ask them to tell you what it was and what it was about. If your restaurant’s server did something amusing, bring it up again so that everyone can laugh together. Keeping the date going is a great way to keep the momentum going, which is a good option if you had a good time together and want to keep the positive energy going. Additionally, you could say something along the lines of: “That storey you told about your friend forgetting to pick you up from the airport was really funny.”
“I just went and looked it up!” You were completely correct in your assessment of the title of that film.”
”I can’t believe I forgot to ask, but what happened to your friend after that crazy night you told me about?” says the narrator.
6 “Am I crazy, or was that an absolutely awesome date?”
Reviewing the date and putting yourself in a vulnerable position may be a wise move. If you are worried that you will not be able to sleep at night because you are not sure if your date is interested in you or not, gently asking how the date went is an option. If you introduce some uncertainty on your end, you also set the tone that you are interested in what the other person has to say, which is beneficial if you are looking for a mature and authentic response from your counterpart. You could also send a text message saying, “I think we can both agree that was a blast, right?”
“Was it just me, or did that seem like a lot of fun?”
“I can’t be the only one who thinks we should do it again, can I?” says the narrator.
7 “I had fun beating you at pool tonight, cute stuff!”
A little lighthearted banter is a novel way to convey your interest in someone. It’s also a great option if your date consisted primarily of sarcastic banter, or if you engaged in a competitive activity such as bowling on your date. You could try being a little flirty while dishing out the trash talk if the two of you were having a good time and you don’t think it will be misconstrued in a negative way. “I’m not sure how you managed to keep up with me on the dance floor, but you’re not too bad!” is another possible phrase. “I still believe my movements are superior, though.”
“You’re a fantastic conversationalist, but I believe I would win a debate with you.”
“Please let me know if you ever want to be defeated at bowling again! I’d be more than happy to put on another show similar to that.”
8 Lean on emojis to play it cool.
Using emojis is a great way to convey excitement without appearing overly enthusiastic. Write a short text message, such as “I had a good time tonight,” and include a few emojis to help communicate how you felt about the date. In situations where you aren’t sure what you want to say or if you are concerned about saying too much and appearing clingy, this is a safe move. Emojis are a great way to express your interest while maintaining a casual tone. Some emojis that you might want to use are as follows:
Using the suggestive tongue out and a playful smile, this is a great way to communicate that you are interested in them without being too overt about it.
The smirking face emoji is a smug and seductive emoji that conveys confidence and seduction. This is a great option if your date was particularly romantic and you want to be absolutely clear about how you feel about each other.
The monkey with the phrase “see no evil” – The monkey with the phrase “see no evil” is a cute and playful emoji. It’s subtle and sweet, and it conveys the impression that you can’t get over how excited you are about the date.
The relieved face – This is a softer, more delicate version of the relieved face. Using this method, you can clearly communicate that you are content without coming across as cocky or suggestive, which is an excellent choice.
9 “What are you up to on Wednesday?”
If the follow-up conversation is going well, inquire about the possibility of a second date. Making some firm plans for the upcoming date is always a good idea because it ensures that nothing is left up in the air. Once your date responds to the text you sent them, you should allow the conversation to develop naturally from that point on. When the time is right, suggest that you meet up again soon after that.
Depending on how your conversation is progressing, what you say here will be completely arbitrary. Just make it crystal clear that you want to see them again.
If they don’t seem interested in going on a second date, don’t be too hard on yourself. Every first date is not going to be a success, so don’t be too hard on yourself about it.
10 “I had a nice time, but I don’t really feel the chemistry.”
If the date did not go well, tell them straight away so that they do not feel pressured to continue. It’s perfectly acceptable to have a bad vibe with someone, and you’re a good person if you’re considering letting them down gradually rather than completely ghosting them. Simply pay them a compliment or two and state unequivocally that you do not wish to see them again. Even though you don’t have to be cruel or rude, it’s much better to be upfront and honest here than to leave them in the dark about what’s going on. You might say something like this: “You are a wonderful person with a wonderful heart, but I just don’t think we clicked tonight.” Because I don’t want to lead you on or anything, I apologise if that came across as too direct. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavours!”
“Hey! It was a pleasure having you take me out to dinner tonight. I had a fantastic time. But I’m not sure if we really have that chemistry yet. I’m assuming you agree, but I’m not sure. I hope you are successful in your search!”
Except if your date did something truly heinous, don’t abandon ship on them. Simply put, it is not a nice thing to do.
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