It can be difficult to talk to your boyfriend about his feelings, especially if you are nervous or anxious. When you’re in a relationship, you may be happy, but it’s difficult to know if your boyfriend feels the same way. If you want to check in with him about your relationship but aren’t sure how, keep reading to find out a few questions you can ask him.
1. Pick the right time and place.
Go somewhere private and quiet where the two of you can talk alone. Choose a time when you and your boyfriend aren’t rushed and you don’t have anything else planned for later. Try to talk when both of you are in a good mood and not stressed or anxious.
Going on a small date night is the ideal time for a conversation like this. A secluded walk in the park or a quiet corner of the restaurant is ideal for a serious discussion.
2. Tell him how you feel first.
Begin the conversation by expressing your joy. You can express to your boyfriend how much you enjoy being in a relationship with him. If he feels the same way, he’ll most likely express it right back to you. Try something like, “I’m really glad we’re together.”
“I believe our relationship is going very well.”
3. Ask how he feels about your relationship.
Check to see if he has any issues he wants to bring up. To find out if he still wants to be with you, ask him how he feels about your relationship so far. If he does, he will almost certainly state that the relationship is going well.
Say something along the lines of, “How do you feel about our relationship?” or, “Are you satisfied with our relationship?”
If he isn’t completely content, it doesn’t necessarily follow that he doesn’t want to be with you. You two may need to have a longer conversation to figure out what he’s upset about and what you two can do to fix it.
4. Bring up things you’ve noticed.
Perhaps his actions are causing you concern. If he appears dissatisfied with your relationship, you could ask him if he believes you two are stuck in a rut. If he’s been distant recently, inquire whether you’re meeting all of his needs. Make it specific so you and your partner can discuss any issues.
You could say something like, “You seem to be a little bored lately.” Is it possible that we’ve reached a stalemate?”
Or, “It appears that you’ve been pulling away from me a little.” “Are you all right?”
5. Ask him what he likes about your relationship.
He probably wants to be with you if he can name a few things. Look at what he enjoys about your relationship to get a sense of how he feels. You can also mention a few positive aspects of your relationship.
Say something along the lines of, “What do you like about our relationship?” or, “What is the best aspect of our relationship?”
6. Bring up your future together.
It’s a good sign if he sees it as a long-term relationship. By determining the end goal, you can check in with him to see how he’s feeling. If he says he sees you together for a long time (or even forever), it means he still wants to be with you. Ask something like, “Do you see us staying together in the long run?”
“Do you think we’ll be together for a long time?”
7. Ask outright to be direct.
It’s the most effective way to convey your message. If you suspect your boyfriend no longer wants to be with you, simply ask him if he does. If he still wants to be with you, he won’t have any trouble answering that question.
Simply state, “Do you still want to be with me?”
8. Tell him you need reassurance.
He might not understand why you’re questioning him. You can tell him straight up that you need more reassurance in your relationship in order to believe he truly wants to be with you. He’ll probably understand where you’re coming from, and he might even provide you with more reassurance in the future.
You could say, “When it comes to relationships, I get a little anxious, and I need a lot of reassurance from my partner.” Hearing you say you want to be with me gives me confidence.”
9. Accept what he says as the truth.
Your anxiety may try to convince you that he is lying. That, however, is not the case! Try to believe your boyfriend when he says he wants to be with you. People usually say what they mean, so you shouldn’t be concerned that he’s saying one thing while thinking another.
If you believe there is a problem in your relationship, bring it up with him so you two can discuss it and come up with a solution.
Similarly, if he’s giving you signs that he’s not interested, don’t fool yourself into thinking he does. For example, if he says, “I’m not sure what I want right now,” he’s probably being vague to avoid hurting your feelings—and chances are, he’s losing interest in the relationship.
10. Try not to ask all the time.
It can be exhausting to provide constant reassurance. It’s fine to inquire every now and then, but checking in with your partner every day can be excessive. If you can, try to listen to and remember what your boyfriend says so you don’t have to keep checking in with him.
Keep in mind that he may require some reassurance as well! Make an effort to let him know that you still want to be with him whenever possible.
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