If you’re reading this, you’re probably curious about two things. Is this guy really into me? And, if so, is he more interested in me than in his girlfriend? To assist, this article provides a list of clear signs of attraction to look for. It also highlights some signs that the guy’s current relationship is in jeopardy. So, read on to get a better understanding of the situation you’re in—however, what you choose to do in the situation is entirely up to you!
1. He texts often and showers you with social media attention.
Increased digital contact reveals a shift in interest. In other words, if he texts you more frequently or interacts with you on social media more frequently than before, he is also thinking about you more frequently. Along with more frequent interaction, look for signs that he’s trying to impress you—for example, does he text you a lot of little jokes or compliment your photos?
If you discover that he is having less digital contact with his girlfriend, it is even more likely that his affections have shifted to you!
2. He makes lots of eye contact with you.
Examine for frequent small glances, lack of staring, and dilated pupils. Whether he has a girlfriend or not, a guy who stares at you straight in the eyes may end up being more of a creep than a catch. However, if he makes a lot of quick glances in the hopes of briefly locking eyes with you, it’s a safe bet that he likes you. Eye contact that is playful is almost always a sign of affection!
If you do happen to catch a glimpse of his eyes, check to see if his pupils appear to be larger than usual. Physical attraction is frequently manifested by pupil dilation.
3. He gets close enough to touch you.
Does he knock down barriers to get closer to you? If he is attracted to you, he will want to remove any physical barriers between you. This includes things like a mug or glass on your table, a bag slung over his shoulder, or even his crossed arms in front of him. From there, keep an eye out for him to move in closer and make unintentional physical contact with you.
As you stand in a group, he may move closer to you bit by bit. Or, if you sit next to him at the lunch table, you may notice that his chair is slightly closer to yours than to the person on the other side of him.
As he gets closer, he’ll look for any reason to make even the most insignificant physical contact with you. Instead of simply calling out your name, he might tap you on the shoulder to get your attention. Or he might brush up against your arm as he moves past you to get to his seat.
4. He talks more and gets flirtatious.
He’ll want to impress you and tease you with hints that he’s interested. When a guy likes someone, he makes an extra effort to be a good communicator. Why? They want to show off their personality while also hinting at their attraction, so keep an eye out for signs of flirting! In fact, look out for any of the following:
He talks about things that make him look good, such as athletic or academic accomplishments.
He brings up topics that he knows (or believes) you will find interesting.
He flirts with you, most likely by teasing you (“Good job, fumbles! Oh, I guess I’ll assist you in picking up those items”) or subtly complimenting you (“Did you do your hair differently today? It’s nice.”)
He asks probing questions in order to get to know you better.
5. He remembers details you’ve shared with him.
This is a clear indication that he is paying attention and wants you to know it. The smaller the detail he recalls, the stronger the indication that he likes you! You might come across examples like these:
You casually mention to a group (including him) that red is your favourite colour. A week later, when he’s distributing notebooks for a group project at school, he hands you the red notebook and says, “because it’s your favourite colour.”
You mentioned in passing three months ago that your birthday fell on the first day of summer. Even if you’re keeping things low-key and not throwing a party, he remembers to send you a quick “happy birthday” text on the right day.
6. He craves your feedback and approval.
Is he overjoyed when you laugh at his jokes or simply smile at him? If he’s interested in you, he’ll always be on the lookout for signs that you’re interested in him as well. Small signs of approval, such as smiling or laughing, or larger signs, such as engaging in a conversation topic that he raised, will clearly boost his ego—and his hopes!
This also works in the opposite direction. Is he irritated when you don’t laugh at one of his jokes?
7. He tries to look good when you’re around.
Is he more likely to dress to impress when he knows you’ll notice? Guys don’t improve their grooming, dressing, and styling skills for no reason. If it’s clear that he’s stepped up his game, especially when he knows he’ll be around you, take it as a strong indication that he’s interested.
He’ll probably try to impress with his body language as well, standing taller, holding his shoulders back, and sucking in his stomach a little more.
8. He reacts better to you than to his girlfriend.
Is he “light up” around you but “ho-hum” around her? Yes, it is possible that this guy likes you and his girlfriend at the same time. But there’s a good chance that if he’s really into you, he’ll stop being so into his girlfriend. Keep an eye out for signs that he likes you. Simultaneously, keep an eye out for signs of disinterest in his girlfriend.
For example, he may laugh heartily when you tell a joke but barely smirk when his girlfriend tells one. Alternatively, he may cross his arms when talking to his girlfriend but uncross them when facing you.
Guys, and people in general, aren’t always as good as they think they are at hiding their emotions. If he seems more excited about you than about her, it’s most likely true!
9. Their relationship seems dull and lifeless.
If he’s preoccupied with you, he’s probably not putting much effort into his relationship. Consider this: does this guy appear to be “going through the motions” with his girlfriend? Do they have boring conversations (or do they barely talk at all)? Do they avoid physical contact, or do they awkwardly hug and kiss? Do you have the impression that he would prefer to end the relationship?
It’s also possible that he’ll go out of his way to make it appear as if their relationship still has a spark, even if he’s no longer feeling it. He could simply be doing a poor job of concealing his true feelings for you. If his displays of affection for her appear phoney, they most likely are.
10. They bicker and disagree all the time.
Is he easily irritated or annoyed by her? If he’s attracted to you, he’s probably blind to the minor flaws in you that would normally bother him. Similarly, if he is no longer attracted to his girlfriend, all of the minor details about her that he was previously blinded to are most likely now obvious to him.
Some guys are just irritable in general and get easily irritated with everyone. Again, compare how he behaves with you versus how he behaves with her in similar situations.
11. He spends less time with her.
Is he spending less one-on-one time with her but more group time with you? If a guy isn’t enthusiastic about spending time with his girlfriend, or even makes excuses not to spend time with her, it’s pretty clear that things aren’t going to work out. If he goes out of his way to find opportunities to hang out with you, he’s almost certainly more interested in you than in her.
For example, suppose you’re in a group and his girlfriend asks him if he’s going to the movies tonight. If he turns towards you and says something like, “Hey, let’s make it a group thing—you guys want to come along?” take it as a major sign.
12. His girlfriend suddenly seems suspicious of him.
She’ll most likely notice that his feelings have shifted to someone else. True, some girlfriends are suspicious all of the time, even when there is no reason for them to be. However, if she suddenly becomes suspicious of her boyfriend, add this to the other indications that the guy’s interest has shifted in your direction.
If you are friends with her, she may confide in you about her suspicions. You may then be forced to confront her with your own suspicions—that is, if you are more interested in maintaining your friendship with her than in pursuing her current boyfriend!
13. He confides in you instead of her.
If he’s telling you things he’s not telling her, he obviously prefers you to her. This may be the most obvious sign you can get short of him telling you directly that he likes you and wants to break up with her. It becomes even clearer if he chooses to tell you about the state of his relationship with her. Confidence in you indicates that he trusts you, and trust and affection frequently go hand in hand.
This may be more difficult to detect if you and your friend are already close and used to confiding in each other. If this is the case, look for signs that he is confiding in you more than before while confiding in her less.
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