A large part of a romantic relationship is feeling attracted to someone. Many couples, however, are not attracted to each other after the first date (or even the first few dates). If you like a guy but aren’t yet attracted to him, you can make an effort to get closer to him and pick out his positive characteristics. You might be able to get to know him better over time and start a beautiful relationship.
1. Go out on a few dates together.
The more time you spend together, the stronger your attraction may become. People frequently go on one date with someone and then decide they aren’t interested. Just because you didn’t feel it right away doesn’t mean you won’t feel it later! Continue to hang out with him to see where things go.
First dates can be awkward, and they are frequently clouded with nervous energy. If you and he spend more time together, you might discover that you are attracted to him.
Getting your adrenaline pumping is a good way to see a different side of him. Try watching a horror film, bungee jumping, or rock climbing.
2. Look into his eyes.
According to psychologists, eye contact can cause people to fall in love. Sit down and stare into a guy’s eyes for 4 minutes if you want to increase your attraction to him. Try not to look away (if at all possible), and keep your smiles and giggling to a minimum. After 4 minutes, you may discover that you like him a lot more.
This is most likely a second or third date activity to try out in a private setting.
3. Try to appreciate his unconventional features.
You have the ability to re-define what you find appealing. Not everyone is attractive according to societal standards, and that’s okay. He may not have a perfectly symmetrical face or a toned and tanned body, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t attractive. Pick out his features that stand out to you in your mind, and try not to compare them to anyone else’s.
For example, perhaps his crooked teeth give him a charming smile. Perhaps his bushy brows add to the expression on his face.
4. Become friends with him.
Make an effort to connect with him on a personal level. It’s okay if you don’t feel attracted to him right away! Treat him as a friend, and get to know him as you would any other person. Inquire about his upbringing and interests, and share some information about yourself. This can also relieve some of the pressure on you so that you aren’t putting pressure on yourself to be romantically interested in someone.
People frequently become friends before they begin dating.
5. Get to know him on a deeper level.
What are his hopes, dreams, and concerns? If you are not physically attracted to him, you may be attracted to his personality. In order for you two to grow closer, ask him probing, personal questions.
Try questions like, “What is your most important life goal?” “Do you see yourself staying in this city for the rest of your life?” “In ten years, where do you want to be?”
6. Open up to him.
To strengthen your relationship, be vulnerable with him. Tell him about your life and what you hope to achieve as you two get to know each other. To strengthen your bond, talk about your hopes, dreams, and fears.
You might say things like, “I’ve always wanted to live in New York City,” “I wanted to travel the world when I was a kid,” or “My main goal is to have a family and live on a farm.”
Consider introducing him to your friends and family as you get to know each other better.
7. Find your similarities.
Your shared interests could lead to attraction. What do you two do when you get together? Perhaps you share similar hobbies or sports interests, or perhaps you share similar values or life goals. The more you can concentrate on what you have in common, the more you’ll be drawn to him.
If you don’t have anything in common right now, look for a new activity to try together.
8. Focus on his emotional maturity.
Communication and trust are critical components of attraction. If the guy you’re dating (or considering dating) is open, honest, and trustworthy, he’s probably emotionally mature. Consider how good a partner he would be in order to increase your attraction to him.
If he isn’t emotionally mature, that could be one of the reasons you don’t like him. In that case, it’s time to move on.
9. Pick out his good qualities.
Describe 5 things you like about him right now. They don’t have to be physical—what about his feelings, intelligence, or kindness? If you can identify his positive characteristics, you will be more likely to develop feelings for him in the future.
For example, he could be intelligent, funny, kind, honest, and chivalrous. All of these are excellent characteristics to look for in a potential partner.
10. Forget about your “type.”
Don’t let the people you’ve dated have an impact on your future. If you’ve always preferred “bad boys,” it can be difficult to fall for someone who is genuinely nice and kind to you. Try to keep an open mind and don’t dismiss someone simply because they aren’t your type.
It’s okay to have preferences, but don’t let them prevent you from giving someone new a chance.
11. Move on if you really aren’t attracted to him.
It’s okay to break the spark if you can’t find it. There is no set time frame for how long this should take—some people know right away if it won’t work, while others need a month (or more). In general, if you’ve been on three dates with him and you’re still not attracted to him, it’s time to move on.
It’s not fair to you or him to keep trying when you know you’re not interested in him.
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