How to Find Out if a Person Actually Misses You

It’s natural to wonder if someone you care about misses you when you’re separated from them. Perhaps you’ve drifted apart from a former friend, relative, or someone else with whom you used to have a close relationship. Or maybe you’re just wondering if your boyfriend or girlfriend really misses you while you’re away on business. Find out if someone is missing you without stalking or acting inappropriately.

Method 1: Discovering Whether Someone Misses You After You’ve Split Up or Drifted Apart

1. Suggest a meeting and observe the person’s reaction. If you suspect a friendship is fading and want to know if your friend misses you, invite them to a friendly and light gathering, such as a cup of coffee. If your friend reacts enthusiastically, it’s safe to assume that they miss you as well. On the other hand, if they postpone the meeting or appear hesitant to get together, understand that they most likely do not miss you.

Be truthful but non-accusatory about your friend’s absence. Say something like, “I miss our fun Friday night get-togethers!” Do you want to meet up again soon?”

2. Discuss the underlying issues. If your friendship has grown distant and you’re not sure why, it may be more beneficial to discuss the issue directly with your friend. Inform your friend that you’ve noticed that the two of you are no longer as close. Inquire whether you did anything to offend or harm your friend. If the answer is yes, be prepared to listen to what your friend has to say without defending yourself.

It may be helpful to directly ask if the person misses you, but be careful not to put them on the spot. If they feel accused, they may not give an honest answer.

3. Consult with mutual friends. Make it clear what your needs and intentions are. For example, you could tell a friend, “I feel like I’ve grown further away from our mutual friend recently, and it saddens me.” Do you think it’s worthwhile for me to contact them right now?” Pay close attention to the response.

Don’t ask someone if they miss you just to make yourself feel better.

4. Allow relationships to end on their own terms. Recognize the signs of a friendship coming to an end. There may be awkward gaps in the conversation or long silences. It may be more difficult to make plans. Miscommunication may occur more frequently. Not all friendships are meant to last forever; as people’s interests and lives change, so will their relationships.

If your friendship is ending, don’t worry about whether your friend misses you. Instead, celebrate the positive aspects of your friend’s presence in your life and move on.

5. Don’t confuse “I miss you” with “I want to be with you.” Even if a former friend or ex-partner misses you, that doesn’t mean they want to rekindle the relationship. You may both be lamenting the loss of the good parts of your relationship. However, this does not imply that reuniting is a good idea.

Method 2: Determine Whether or Not Your Partner Misses You When You’re Not Together

1. Take note of how frequently they call or text. If the person frequently contacts you to talk, it is likely that they miss you when you are not present. Everyone has different communication styles, but frequent phone calls and messages are a good indicator of a relationship’s investment.

2. Take note of the tone of their voice. When you speak to someone who misses you, they will sound engaged and eager. When you’re catching up after a long time, if the person sounds distracted, it could be a sign that they didn’t miss you.

3. When you’re feeling insecure, be honest about it. It’s better to be honest about your feelings of anxiety or insecurity when your partner is away. “Did you miss me?” or “Do you still love me?” are unlikely to elicit your true feelings. If your partner says “Yes,” you may not believe them, and if they say “No,” you will feel even worse. Instead, ask for the reassurance you require directly.

For instance, you could say, “I had a terrible day and I’m feeling pretty lonely and insecure tonight.” Can you give me some extra support and tell me you love and miss me?”

4. Take note of what they say to you. If a friend or partner shares images or links that make them think of you, it simply means that they are thinking of you. Even when you’re not together, you’re still present in the person’s mind.

Gifts are another way to demonstrate concern and involvement. Even if you don’t always like what a friend or partner gets you, recognise that it’s proof that they were thinking about you even when you weren’t together.

Recognize that if they are eager to tell you about the details of their boring conference or flight connections, it is most likely because they want to keep talking to you. Sharing mundane details allows you to stay connected across distances and shows that they miss you when you’re apart.

5. Take note of nonverbal cues. If you live a long distance apart, it may be more difficult to detect signs of affection in your partner’s body. Look for a tilted head and sustained eye contact if you can communicate via video. A softer or higher tone of voice conveys intimacy over the phone.

6. Recognize the symptoms of separation pain. Couple bonding means that separation can cause increased stress and anxiety. If they are particularly worried or unsettled while you are apart, it is possible that they miss you.

Creative Commons License