You don’t have to hook up all the time or go out clubbing every night to make friends, but you do have to put in some effort to improve your social life. A little patience and a willingness to put yourself out there, on the other hand, is all you need to establish a thriving new social life.
Method 1: Become a More Sociable Individual
1. Consider what qualities you want in your friends. Improving your social life entails knowing what you want as well as finding people who want to be with you. Consider the types of people with whom you prefer to socialise. What exactly do they do? How do they behave? What are their plans for the “ideal Friday night”? Consider your old friends and why you enjoy their company. Consider the following:
Hobbies (what activities would you do together?)
Characteristics (serious and academic vs. humorous goof-balls, or a mix of both)
Passions (similar tastes in books, movies, music, sports, etc.)
Habits of conversation (sit, relax and talk vs. do a lot of activities)
Levels of energy (raging at a bar vs. chilling at a quiet cafe)
2. Appear approachable. Maintain a positive attitude, stay well-groomed, and dress decently and cleanly. It’s not about being shallow, but about making a good first impression. This makes people feel at ease approaching you to spend time with you.
Make an effort to be as clean as possible. Properly brushed and flossed teeth, deodorant, perfume, clean hair, deeply cleansed and moisturised skin, and clean clothes
Maintain a nice style that is still “you.” To be more sociable, you don’t need to “dress up,” you just need to take care of yourself.
3. Make use of open and inviting body language. This communicates to others that you are open to conversation and enjoy socialising. People will naturally gravitate toward someone who exudes positive, social energy, and one of the most natural ways to do so is through your body language. To demonstrate open body language:
Keep your arms to the side and your shoulders back, allowing your chest to expand.
Make direct eye contact with whoever is speaking.
You should smile a lot.
As people speak, turn your shoulders to face them.
Maintain a straight chin parallel to the floor.
Avoid looking hunched over by standing and sitting tall.
4. Invite your friends to your home. This is a great low-key way to practise your social skills in a setting where you are at ease. You have control over the number of people, the activities, and the amount of time you spend with them. If you are particularly shy or have difficulty starting conversations in a group, practising at home is an excellent way to improve your sociability.
Host a dinner party or invite someone to lunch with you.
Host a sporting event or a TV viewing party, which will allow you to tune in to the TV if there is a lull in the conversation.
5. Maintain your current friendships and relationships. Most relationships improve with time and age, but they require effort to maintain. This enables you to identify what is important to you in a friendship and the types of conversations you enjoy having. These abilities will transfer to your new friendships as well, and your old friends are frequently the ones who introduce you to new friendships.
Talk to your friends at least once a week or once a month.
Continue to make plans with old friends.
6. Stop being afraid of rejection. Don’t be concerned if you don’t immediately click with someone. This is not your fault; it simply means that you and your friends were incompatible. Making friends and being sociable isn’t about “winning” or having the most friends. It’s all about finding one or two people with whom you feel at ease.
Concentrate on the quality of interactions rather than the quantity. You don’t want a bunch of half-friends and acquaintances; you want a few great friends around whom to form a social group.
7. Be yourself, not who you believe others want you to be. Many people are “normal,” and no one wants to keep seeing the same friend. Be strange, quirky, and interesting—be yourself. You’ll be drawn to people who share your interests, and these are the friendships you’ll cherish. Trying to change yourself will result in awkwardness and missed connections because you will never be able to maintain the act.
Being more sociable entails being friendly rather than cool.
Method 2: Identifying Friendship Groups
1. Begin by making friends with people you already know. If you’re bored with your social life, there’s no reason to go clubbing. Begin by making the most of your current acquaintances and gradually expand your network of friends. Engage in a conversation with a coworker or fellow classmate with whom you do not normally interact, reach out to your neighbours, and spend time with someone with whom you do not normally interact. If you make an effort to talk about something other than work or school, you’ll be surprised at how friendly people will be.
Utilize nearby events, such as company get-togethers or after-school activities, where there is a natural social connection.
Accept invitations, even if you initially feel out of place. By demonstrating that you are open to social situations, you open yourself up to future groups of friends.
Things may be awkward at first, but remember that this is normal until you get to know each other better.
2. Request that your current friends bring their friends to events. Using people you already know is the best way to meet new people. Encourage your friends to invite a “plus one” if you’re going out; because you already know your friend, you have a natural introduction that can help you get over awkward first meetings. Furthermore, your mutual friends are likely to share common interests and hobbies, making it more likely that you will connect with someone who is a friend of a friend.
Attend events or parties hosted by your friends, especially if you won’t know everyone there.
Bring your own friends to start the conversation; bringing an extroverted or interesting friend signals that you want to meet new people.
3. Go to places where you feel at ease. You don’t have to eat at a high-end restaurant if that’s not your thing. This can result in shyness and difficulty fitting in with those around you. You should go to places that make you happy because it will be easier to meet people who share your interests.
Do you enjoy outdoor activities? To make an instant connection, go to your local rock wall and ask for a belay partner.
Do you enjoy music and going to concerts? Look in your local newspaper for live music venues and attend a concert.
Do you enjoy art and culture? Visit small art galleries or shows in your area and speak with the artists about their work or other people’s reactions to the show.
4. Look for local meet-ups for people with similar interests. Inquire around town about craft classes, book clubs, and discussion groups that interest you. Many newspapers and online town blogs have exhaustive schedules of common meeting places, and new social media sites like Yelp and Meet-up aggregate meetings by interest or hobby.
5. To meet new people, join a recreational league or team. Inquire with your local Parks and Recreation department about adult and children’s sports leagues. Most departments have teams made up of similar people looking to make friends, so don’t be concerned about joining a department without a team of strangers; you won’t be the only one.
There are also a variety of single sports, such as tennis and bowling leagues, that can be tailored to any individual’s interests.
6. Participate in volunteer work. Volunteering is a great way to meet people from all walks of life in a low-key setting. You have a natural conversation topic in your work, and you can return to the same sites to get to know people better. There is no obligation, and you can come as often as you like.
Check with the SPCA, Red Cross, and American Cancer Society in your area for volunteer opportunities, as most counties have at least one of these organisations.
7. Make time in your schedule to meet new people. At the end of the day, friends will only find you if you take the time to look for them. Make an effort once a week to go out and meet people in places where you feel comfortable. This could be a local bar, a high school football game, or the office break room. You should put yourself out there and see what happens; you’ll be surprised at how quickly you can make new friends once you commit to it.
Bring a close friend to make you feel more at ease, but don’t spend all of your time talking to them.
Method 3: Engaging in Meaningful Conversations
1. Begin with a friendly “hello.” It’s amazing how many people dismiss such a simple greeting. If you are shy, this is a great, low-pressure way to show that you want to make friends and be kind. Simply say hello to someone if you make eye contact. There is no pressure to progress to something more serious, but it does pave the way for a more social relationship.
If they return your greeting, introduce yourself! Say your name and ask for theirs.
2. Make eye contact with them and remember their name. This demonstrates that you are genuinely interested in them and want to be friends with them. Remembering someone’s name is a small but important step toward developing a long-lasting friendship.
This minor step may appear obvious, but remembering and saying someone’s name shows that you care and makes them feel valued – an important part of improving your social life.
3. Consider open-ended discussion topics. When you meet someone for the first time, there are many things you need to learn about them. Instead of being intimidated, consider this an opportunity. There are a plethora of topics you can cover, and there are very few that are inappropriate. While you may avoid controversial topics such as religion, politics, or sex, there is still plenty to discuss: “What do you do for a living?”
“Did you grow up in this area?” If they say no, inquire as to where they grew up.
Comment on the setting; have you both visited before? Were you referred by a mutual friend?
“What do you like to do when you’re not at work?”
4. Concentrate on listening rather than talking. It’s impossible to unwind when you’re telling yourself to unwind. Instead, pay attention to the other person in the conversation. Listen to them and inquire about their lives. Inquire about them and get to know them. You don’t have to share your life storey with someone right away to strike up a conversation; you just need to be able to listen thoughtfully.
The importance of follow-up questions cannot be overstated. When asked, “What do you do for a living?” you can follow up with, “Do you enjoy what you do?” This keeps the conversation moving along smoothly.
Being an active listener relieves the pressure to keep talking, making it easier to maintain a conversation.
5. Give answers that are more than one word long. When someone asks you a question, don’t brush it off and move on to the next one. Take your time to explain it. Give your opinion, tell a short, related storey, or explain your reasoning or background. Aim to converse for 1-2 minutes before asking a question or changing the subject.
This allows for a more natural flow of conversation. The more you talk, the more likely it is that you will spark another question or a new topic to discuss, as long as you continue to listen to their responses.
6. Give a compliment every now and then. Flirting, whether with potential dates or with friends, is simply expressing an interest in someone. Hearing a genuine compliment feels good, and it creates a bond that can grow beyond acquaintances and into friendship. A simple “I love that scarf,” or “that’s a really good point,” is a nice, light way to be a friend.
People will be turned off if you appear to be a “suck-up” or brown-noser, so make sure your compliments are genuine.
Creative Commons License